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runedgirlTitle: Where Sam and Dean Leave off and We Begin
Fandom: RPS
Pairing: Jared/Jensen
Rating: Eventually NC-17, but you have to wait
Summary: Things in the show have a way of spilling over into their personal lives, and vice versa
Chapter 1 Chapter 2
As luck would have it, the scene they worked on that afternoon – all afternoon – was every bit as physical as the previous day’s. Usually they ran through an entire episode in their eight days of work, but today the director was jumping ahead. With the sixth sense that all good directors have, he seemed to know that his two stars were in the midst of something angsty and conflicted and volatile. Just the thing to bring into an episode that turned on the emotional intensity between its two main characters. No way was he going to waste whatever was going on between Jared and Jensen. Shooting a few scenes out of context was a small price to pay.
“And then you push him to the floor and get on top of him.”
Jared stared at the AD, who was explaining and miming the way the scene should play out. He raised his eyebrow. “On top of him?” he asked dumbly.
The AD, who was a rather attractive woman in her late twenties, nodded encouragingly. “Yes, on top of him. You know, hold him down. Make him listen to you.” She paused awkwardly. “Didn’t you read the script?”
Jared looked back at Jensen, who was regarding him with an amused half smile. “Yeah Jared, didn’t you read the script?” he smirked.
The AD hesitated, wondering if she’d missed something. “Um, do you want a stunt double?” Neither of them ever said yes to that offer, but Jared’s reluctance made her worry. “The floor is padded, it should be fine,” she continued, “But if you want….”
“A stunt double? Are you kidding?” Jensen came over and tugged his costar by the arm. “C’mon man, you can take me. What, are you afraid?”
Jared shrugged him off, annoyed. “No, I’m not afraid, are you afraid?” He was vaguely aware that he was sounding like a two year old.
Jensen laughed. “Of you? No way. C’mon, let’s do this.”
“Fine.” Jared stared him down, still angry. Still reluctant. From his perch behind the camera, the director smiled. Perfect. Whatever was happening, it was making Jared angry, and making Jensen challenge him. Perfect for the moment when Sam was pushed too far, far enough to throw his beloved brother to the ground and force him to listen to reason. Sam was ready to do whatever it took to convince Dean. And Jared had to be too.
Still, the first time they ran through, it was half-hearted. Jared barely pushed hard enough to knock the other actor off balance, so it didn’t look real when Jensen fell. Jared didn’t even bother acting out the rest, he knew he would hear ‘cut’ at any moment. Instead he just got up and shuffled backwards awkwardly.
“Fuck, Jared, what was that?” Jensen asked as he scrambled up from the padded floor. “You barely touched me.”
“Sorry.”
“Don’t make me do all the work, huh?”
“I said sorry.” Jared shot him a glance that said ‘leave it alone.’
Jensen gave him a puzzled look as they took their marks again. Jared knew he was confusing his costar, but he couldn’t have explained it even if he’d wanted to. He didn’t even know himself why he was so reluctant to do this, he just knew he felt off balance. Distracted.
He steeled himself, taking a deep breath. You can do this. You *have* to do this. The actors listened to the direction again, both letting the reality shift until they were in the moment, until Sam was staring at Dean, seeing how out of control he was, knowing what he was risking. No, I can’t let him do this, I can’t. Sam’s thoughts, Sam’s emotions. He’s more important to me than anything in the world, anything. He’s all I have. And if he does this, he’ll never be himself again, never.
Across the room, Jensen was inhabiting Dean’s rage, lost in it, losing all sense of himself and his brother, of Jared, of sanity. He could sink himself into it so deeply that Jared couldn’t distinguish the actor from the character sometimes, and it was terrifying suddenly. Jared stayed still, watching, letting Sam’s desperation mount inside him until he couldn’t stand it. Nobody told him when to move, the director trusted him to know when to go. Jensen trusted him to know.
And so when he did lurch across the room, Jensen was perfectly unprepared, the force of Jared’s large hands on his shoulders propelling him backwards and down so that he hit the padded floor hard enough to knock the wind out of him. Another actor might have called for a cut, but not Jensen. Everyone knew this – the director, the cameraman, the crew. And Jared. Without giving his costar a moment to recover, he dropped to the floor on top of him, leaning down to pin him by both arms. Jensen gasped beneath him, struggling like he was supposed to, fighting him hard. Jared could feel the resistance as he used his weight to keep Jensen’s wrists down. Jensen struggled to twist away from him, and Jared clambered over his legs to straddle his hips, pinning him anew. Their eyes locked, Jensen’s dark with emotion, channeling Dean’s rage and torment, how unbearable it was. He bucked beneath Jared’s weight as Jared held him down, speechless for a moment at the full intensity of the other man’s fighting him. Real, always so fucking real. “Dean!”
Jared finally delivered his lines, his voice coming out shaking with emotion. “Dean, stop fighting me, I won’t let you do this!”
“You can’t stop me, you can’t – ” Jensen said breathlessly, anguished, still struggling, his eyes watering as he tried to escape Jared’s hold. Jared could hear the pain, the incredible pain, in his voice, and it broke his heart, flooded him with adrenaline. But he had to. He had to. Jared gripped the other man’s slender hips tightly between his knees to steady himself, lifted Jensen’s wrists and then slammed them back down against the padded floor, desperate to break the self-imposed spell. “Dean!”
“Stop fighting him,” the director said in both their ears simultaneously. “Hear him now.”
Instantly Jensen’s body went limp under his, and he fell back gasping, a low sob escaping him. Jared leaned over him, searching the closed eyes. “Dean….”
When Jensen’s long lashes fluttered open, Jared almost lost his concentration completely. This was not the way Sam would be feeling about his brother, of that Jared was sure. There was so much emotion in those dark, moist eyes. So much real feeling. Jensen said nothing, still breathing hard, staring at Jared as though his eyes could speak for him.
Neither of them really heard the ‘cut’.
Slowly Jared sat up straighter, releasing Jensen’s wrists, his weight settling on the other man’s hips. Jensen stretched his fingers out gingerly, arms still splayed. He looked incredibly …. Incredibly what? Jared wasn’t even sure what he was thinking. They sat staring at each other, trying to read the other’s mind.
Finally it was the AD who interrupted their pointed silence. “Um, do you need help getting up?” she offered.
With effort, Jared tore his eyes from Jensen’s. “No, I’m good,” he answered, standing up shakily. He offered a hand to his costar, and Jensen grasped it, letting Jared pull him to his feet. There was hay and dirt clinging to Jensen’s hair, and Jared reached over to brush it off. He felt inexplicably protective, worried about something he couldn’t define. The fact that he had to look down into Jensen’s eyes suddenly struck him as powerful, made something ache in his chest. “You okay?”
Jensen swallowed hard before he answered. “I dunno.”
Jared grasped one wrist, holding it up to examine it in the studio light. “You’re gonna have more bruises,” he said softly.
They both stared at Jensen’s wrist held gently in Jared’s hand, then Jensen raised his eyes to Jared’s again. This time he looked as anguished as Dean had moments before. “Jared,” he began, “What ….”
“Okay, places, going again,” the AD’s voice boomed. “Places, places, makeup, let’s go.” Hands separated them, pulling them into place, removing dust and hay, smoothing errant strands of hair, re-covering Jensen’s cheek with flesh-toned liquid, dabbing at the sweat beaded on both their foreheads.
Again? They had to do this again?
* * *
Chapter 4
Fandom: RPS
Pairing: Jared/Jensen
Rating: Eventually NC-17, but you have to wait
Summary: Things in the show have a way of spilling over into their personal lives, and vice versa
Chapter 1 Chapter 2
As luck would have it, the scene they worked on that afternoon – all afternoon – was every bit as physical as the previous day’s. Usually they ran through an entire episode in their eight days of work, but today the director was jumping ahead. With the sixth sense that all good directors have, he seemed to know that his two stars were in the midst of something angsty and conflicted and volatile. Just the thing to bring into an episode that turned on the emotional intensity between its two main characters. No way was he going to waste whatever was going on between Jared and Jensen. Shooting a few scenes out of context was a small price to pay.
“And then you push him to the floor and get on top of him.”
Jared stared at the AD, who was explaining and miming the way the scene should play out. He raised his eyebrow. “On top of him?” he asked dumbly.
The AD, who was a rather attractive woman in her late twenties, nodded encouragingly. “Yes, on top of him. You know, hold him down. Make him listen to you.” She paused awkwardly. “Didn’t you read the script?”
Jared looked back at Jensen, who was regarding him with an amused half smile. “Yeah Jared, didn’t you read the script?” he smirked.
The AD hesitated, wondering if she’d missed something. “Um, do you want a stunt double?” Neither of them ever said yes to that offer, but Jared’s reluctance made her worry. “The floor is padded, it should be fine,” she continued, “But if you want….”
“A stunt double? Are you kidding?” Jensen came over and tugged his costar by the arm. “C’mon man, you can take me. What, are you afraid?”
Jared shrugged him off, annoyed. “No, I’m not afraid, are you afraid?” He was vaguely aware that he was sounding like a two year old.
Jensen laughed. “Of you? No way. C’mon, let’s do this.”
“Fine.” Jared stared him down, still angry. Still reluctant. From his perch behind the camera, the director smiled. Perfect. Whatever was happening, it was making Jared angry, and making Jensen challenge him. Perfect for the moment when Sam was pushed too far, far enough to throw his beloved brother to the ground and force him to listen to reason. Sam was ready to do whatever it took to convince Dean. And Jared had to be too.
Still, the first time they ran through, it was half-hearted. Jared barely pushed hard enough to knock the other actor off balance, so it didn’t look real when Jensen fell. Jared didn’t even bother acting out the rest, he knew he would hear ‘cut’ at any moment. Instead he just got up and shuffled backwards awkwardly.
“Fuck, Jared, what was that?” Jensen asked as he scrambled up from the padded floor. “You barely touched me.”
“Sorry.”
“Don’t make me do all the work, huh?”
“I said sorry.” Jared shot him a glance that said ‘leave it alone.’
Jensen gave him a puzzled look as they took their marks again. Jared knew he was confusing his costar, but he couldn’t have explained it even if he’d wanted to. He didn’t even know himself why he was so reluctant to do this, he just knew he felt off balance. Distracted.
He steeled himself, taking a deep breath. You can do this. You *have* to do this. The actors listened to the direction again, both letting the reality shift until they were in the moment, until Sam was staring at Dean, seeing how out of control he was, knowing what he was risking. No, I can’t let him do this, I can’t. Sam’s thoughts, Sam’s emotions. He’s more important to me than anything in the world, anything. He’s all I have. And if he does this, he’ll never be himself again, never.
Across the room, Jensen was inhabiting Dean’s rage, lost in it, losing all sense of himself and his brother, of Jared, of sanity. He could sink himself into it so deeply that Jared couldn’t distinguish the actor from the character sometimes, and it was terrifying suddenly. Jared stayed still, watching, letting Sam’s desperation mount inside him until he couldn’t stand it. Nobody told him when to move, the director trusted him to know when to go. Jensen trusted him to know.
And so when he did lurch across the room, Jensen was perfectly unprepared, the force of Jared’s large hands on his shoulders propelling him backwards and down so that he hit the padded floor hard enough to knock the wind out of him. Another actor might have called for a cut, but not Jensen. Everyone knew this – the director, the cameraman, the crew. And Jared. Without giving his costar a moment to recover, he dropped to the floor on top of him, leaning down to pin him by both arms. Jensen gasped beneath him, struggling like he was supposed to, fighting him hard. Jared could feel the resistance as he used his weight to keep Jensen’s wrists down. Jensen struggled to twist away from him, and Jared clambered over his legs to straddle his hips, pinning him anew. Their eyes locked, Jensen’s dark with emotion, channeling Dean’s rage and torment, how unbearable it was. He bucked beneath Jared’s weight as Jared held him down, speechless for a moment at the full intensity of the other man’s fighting him. Real, always so fucking real. “Dean!”
Jared finally delivered his lines, his voice coming out shaking with emotion. “Dean, stop fighting me, I won’t let you do this!”
“You can’t stop me, you can’t – ” Jensen said breathlessly, anguished, still struggling, his eyes watering as he tried to escape Jared’s hold. Jared could hear the pain, the incredible pain, in his voice, and it broke his heart, flooded him with adrenaline. But he had to. He had to. Jared gripped the other man’s slender hips tightly between his knees to steady himself, lifted Jensen’s wrists and then slammed them back down against the padded floor, desperate to break the self-imposed spell. “Dean!”
“Stop fighting him,” the director said in both their ears simultaneously. “Hear him now.”
Instantly Jensen’s body went limp under his, and he fell back gasping, a low sob escaping him. Jared leaned over him, searching the closed eyes. “Dean….”
When Jensen’s long lashes fluttered open, Jared almost lost his concentration completely. This was not the way Sam would be feeling about his brother, of that Jared was sure. There was so much emotion in those dark, moist eyes. So much real feeling. Jensen said nothing, still breathing hard, staring at Jared as though his eyes could speak for him.
Neither of them really heard the ‘cut’.
Slowly Jared sat up straighter, releasing Jensen’s wrists, his weight settling on the other man’s hips. Jensen stretched his fingers out gingerly, arms still splayed. He looked incredibly …. Incredibly what? Jared wasn’t even sure what he was thinking. They sat staring at each other, trying to read the other’s mind.
Finally it was the AD who interrupted their pointed silence. “Um, do you need help getting up?” she offered.
With effort, Jared tore his eyes from Jensen’s. “No, I’m good,” he answered, standing up shakily. He offered a hand to his costar, and Jensen grasped it, letting Jared pull him to his feet. There was hay and dirt clinging to Jensen’s hair, and Jared reached over to brush it off. He felt inexplicably protective, worried about something he couldn’t define. The fact that he had to look down into Jensen’s eyes suddenly struck him as powerful, made something ache in his chest. “You okay?”
Jensen swallowed hard before he answered. “I dunno.”
Jared grasped one wrist, holding it up to examine it in the studio light. “You’re gonna have more bruises,” he said softly.
They both stared at Jensen’s wrist held gently in Jared’s hand, then Jensen raised his eyes to Jared’s again. This time he looked as anguished as Dean had moments before. “Jared,” he began, “What ….”
“Okay, places, going again,” the AD’s voice boomed. “Places, places, makeup, let’s go.” Hands separated them, pulling them into place, removing dust and hay, smoothing errant strands of hair, re-covering Jensen’s cheek with flesh-toned liquid, dabbing at the sweat beaded on both their foreheads.
Again? They had to do this again?
* * *
Chapter 4
