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Where Sam and Dean Leave Off and We Begin - Chapter 4
Title: Where Sam and Dean Leave off and We Begin
Fandom: RPS
Pairing: Jared/Jensen
Rating: Eventually NC-17, but you have to wait
Summary: Things in the show have a way of spilling over into their personal lives, and vice versa
Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3
The third time was more raw than the second. The director watched closely, mic quiet, fascinated with the way the story was taking on a life of its own. Amazed that somehow it was going in the right direction anyway, as though the actors were so in tune with what the writer had created for them, they stayed in sync with it even while their own stuff took over. Whatever it was, it was gold. The director knew that. He was beginning to feel like a voyeur watching them on the monitor, and that was good. Very good.
Jensen fell harder this time, the breath knocked out of him audibly as he hit the floor. And Jared didn’t hesitate when he jumped him, holding his arms down but not quite able to pin his legs as Jensen attempted to roll out from under him. He was fighting harder this time, more prepared for what was to come. A scramble of limbs ensued as they wrestled, Jared finally pinning him with one knee across his hips, not even pausing as Jensen groaned at being kneed in a vulnerable place, but instead taking advantage of the moment to straddle him as the script dictated, then slamming his wrists to the ground once again.
“Ahhh,” Jensen gasped, his face contorting in pain for a moment. His eyes flew open before Jared even got a chance to speak his lines, staring up at the other man in surprise, shocked that Jared had really hurt him. The director could feel the crew’s eyes on him, expecting him to call cut and stop the action. But he motioned impatiently with his hand to keep rolling, not making a sound, not wanting to intrude and ruin the take. Whether it would be too raw to use in the end he didn’t know, but he sure as hell wanted the option.
For a few long seconds, neither of them moved, then the actor in Jensen took over and he closed his eyes tightly, renewing his struggle, Dean desperate to escape his brother’s hold and do what he had to do. Sam desperate to stop him.
“Dean! Stop fighting me, I won’t let you do this!” Jared’s voice was as rough as the grip of his hands on Jensen’s wrists. Jensen could feel the ache where Jared’s fingers dug into his skin. Raw. Real. He pushed his hips against the weight of the other man, struggling.
“You can’t stop me, you can’t . .” Dean’s voice came out strained, desperate.
Jared lifted his arms again, and the anticipation of how much that was going to hurt made Jensen open his eyes before he should have, so that as Jared slammed them down once more their eyes were locked. So Jared could see the expression on his face when he cried out at the impact. Shock. Pain. Need. Jared leaned over him, pressing his aching wrists to the ground, making Jensen groan and twist beneath him. Their faces were only inches away, he didn’t even know if the cameras could see them anymore. Say it. God, just say it. “Dean.” It wasn’t a shout like before, it was almost a whisper. But it subdued Jensen as if it had been a cannonblast. He lay still, staring up into Jared’s eyes, each trying in vain to read the other’s expression. Sam’s face? Dean’s? Or were they seeing each other?
And what the fuck was the next line? It was Jensen’s, Jensen who never blew his lines. And yet he seemed to be searching Jared’s face for a clue of what to do, where this was going. Why there seemed to be so much going on that wasn’t in the script. Finally he spoke the lines, with barely enough volume to be heard. “Sam? What’s happening?”
Jared loosened his grip and straightened very slowly, still holding both Jensen’s wrists in his hands as he sat up. He ran a thumb and finger across the place he’d surely bruised, gently, searching Jensen’s eyes. “I’m sorry I had to hurt you,” he said softly. Sam’s lines, but there was so much emotion in his voice, the words were extraneous. They stared at each other, but no more words would come. Jared could feel Jensen’s heart thudding against his chest as he cradled his wrists there.
From the director’s close-up view, the intimacy between the two men was as clearly etched as if it had been subtitled for him. He knew it for what it was, long before they did.
“Cut,” he said reluctantly, immediately sensing the crew’s relief.
Jared swallowed hard, releasing Jensen’s hands but not getting up. Jensen rubbed at his own wrists, wincing. “Ow.”
“You mad at me?” Jared asked, trying to be flip but sounding more concerned. His voice was still shaky.
“Should be.”
Jared shifted slightly. “Even if you were, I’m the one on top,” he reminded, shifting his weight again to emphasize his position.
“How long are you gonna stay there?”
“How long do you want me to?” Jared returned, smirking. Oblivious to the crew re-setting the scene. Oblivious to everything but the green eyes looking up at him and the firmness of the lean body trapped beneath him. Suddenly aware of the hard bunch of stomach muscles there.
Jensen looked at him sideways, then ran a hand up one of Jared’s denim-clad thighs, smirking back. Jared let him get almost up to the crotch, daring his costar to keep going. He finally reached down to knock Jensen’s hand away just as the other man’s fingers brushed against parts of him too sensitive to ignore.
“You are really tempting fate,” Jared warned, shooting him an evil smile and grabbing Jensen’s wrists suddenly as though he were going to pin him again.
Jensen squirmed. “No! Jared, don’t, seriously, jesus, you don’t know how fucking strong you are.”
Jared let go instantly, patting Jensen on the chest affectionately and then rifling fingers through his mussed hair. “Okay, okay,” he laughed, finally getting up. “C’mon, let me give you a hand up.”
Jensen paused, looking up at Jared with a bemused expression on his face. He dropped his gaze almost imperceptibly, then allowed Jared to pull him to his feet, where he stood staring at his costar grinning.
“What’s that look for?”
Jensen leaned close, one hand on Jared’s shoulder to pull him in. When he spoke, it was in a conspiratorial whisper. “You’re gonna be a big hit with the ladies if you go walkin’ around the set like that,” he said.
Jensen continued to grin as Jared blushed, completely at a loss for words. “I – it’s – it’s just – spontaneous, I mean –
“Hey,” Jensen laughed, “don’t sweat it, I’m flattered.”
“Oh, don’t flatter yourself, it was just a physical scene.” Jared could feel his cheeks burning.
“Yeah, sure, you’re probably right.” Jensen had his head cocked to the left a little, the way he did when he was puzzled by something. Looking up at Jared with that all-consuming stare. He was still grinning. “Didn’t have anything to do with my hand on your thigh.”
Jared glanced from left to right quickly to see if anyone else was within earshot, even more embarrassed. “No, it didn’t,” he insisted.
“Or the fact that you were on top of me.”
“No, not that either.” Jared was really flustered now, not sure whether Jensen was just trying to make him blush or really asking. He didn’t even know what the real answer was. Why *was* he so excited? And why wasn’t it getting any better? Jensen’s big eyes were positively sparkling with his enjoyment of this little conversation. He looked like a little kid who’d just opened an awesome present. Jared stared hard at him. “You’re really enjoying this, aren’t you?”
Jensen broke into a bigger smile. Warm, not ridiculing. It didn’t help Jared’s current state at all, in fact it made everything worse. It made him think that he wanted to lean over and kiss that grin right off those full smirking lips. And then it shocked him that he’d just felt like kissing another guy. He always said he was totally cool with that, whatever, whoever you were into, totally fine. But not for himself. He had Sandy. And besides, this was Jensen. Jensen smiling up at him. “Hell yeah. I love making you sweat.”
And making me hard, Jared thought to himself, but he didn’t have the balls to say it out loud. He didn’t even think it was true, really, this was his problem and his alone. But Jensen was clearly enjoying his discomfort about it. He couldn’t think of a damn thing to say.
Finally Jensen took pity on him. “Okay, I’ll drop it. Stop worrying so much, Jare.” He used the nickname nobody else really did, dropping the ‘d’ at the end of his name. In the moment, that felt strangely reassuring. Jensen patted him on the back affectionately, his fingers massaging one shoulder for a moment before letting go, as if to say ‘it’s okay.’ “Let’s go get some dinner, we’re done for the day.”
Jared still felt funny, not at all sure he wanted to have anything to eat, with Jensen or otherwise. But he didn’t want to seem like he was avoiding anything either, so he agreed. Relieved that Jensen didn’t bring it up again, that talk turned to cars and sports and the beer they were drinking and the rare snow that was blanketing Vancouver. It wasn’t until they parted for the night that he thought about it again, when he held Jensen’s gaze a little too long. “What?” Jensen asked. Not annoyed, just asking.
“Nothing,” Jared lied. Jensen regarded him seriously, pondering something, perhaps whether or not to call him on it. To Jared’s relief, he didn’t.
“Okay. G’nite. Tell Sandy I said hi.”
And should I tell her I was sporting wood for you today too? Jared wondered as he walked away. He ran his hand through his long hair, as he did when he was troubled. What the hell would she think of that? What did Jensen think?
He opted for phone sex with Sandy instead of just jerking off alone, vaguely aware that he wanted to keep his thoughts in places that wouldn’t freak him out when he got off. It mostly worked.
Chapter 5
Fandom: RPS
Pairing: Jared/Jensen
Rating: Eventually NC-17, but you have to wait
Summary: Things in the show have a way of spilling over into their personal lives, and vice versa
Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3
The third time was more raw than the second. The director watched closely, mic quiet, fascinated with the way the story was taking on a life of its own. Amazed that somehow it was going in the right direction anyway, as though the actors were so in tune with what the writer had created for them, they stayed in sync with it even while their own stuff took over. Whatever it was, it was gold. The director knew that. He was beginning to feel like a voyeur watching them on the monitor, and that was good. Very good.
Jensen fell harder this time, the breath knocked out of him audibly as he hit the floor. And Jared didn’t hesitate when he jumped him, holding his arms down but not quite able to pin his legs as Jensen attempted to roll out from under him. He was fighting harder this time, more prepared for what was to come. A scramble of limbs ensued as they wrestled, Jared finally pinning him with one knee across his hips, not even pausing as Jensen groaned at being kneed in a vulnerable place, but instead taking advantage of the moment to straddle him as the script dictated, then slamming his wrists to the ground once again.
“Ahhh,” Jensen gasped, his face contorting in pain for a moment. His eyes flew open before Jared even got a chance to speak his lines, staring up at the other man in surprise, shocked that Jared had really hurt him. The director could feel the crew’s eyes on him, expecting him to call cut and stop the action. But he motioned impatiently with his hand to keep rolling, not making a sound, not wanting to intrude and ruin the take. Whether it would be too raw to use in the end he didn’t know, but he sure as hell wanted the option.
For a few long seconds, neither of them moved, then the actor in Jensen took over and he closed his eyes tightly, renewing his struggle, Dean desperate to escape his brother’s hold and do what he had to do. Sam desperate to stop him.
“Dean! Stop fighting me, I won’t let you do this!” Jared’s voice was as rough as the grip of his hands on Jensen’s wrists. Jensen could feel the ache where Jared’s fingers dug into his skin. Raw. Real. He pushed his hips against the weight of the other man, struggling.
“You can’t stop me, you can’t . .” Dean’s voice came out strained, desperate.
Jared lifted his arms again, and the anticipation of how much that was going to hurt made Jensen open his eyes before he should have, so that as Jared slammed them down once more their eyes were locked. So Jared could see the expression on his face when he cried out at the impact. Shock. Pain. Need. Jared leaned over him, pressing his aching wrists to the ground, making Jensen groan and twist beneath him. Their faces were only inches away, he didn’t even know if the cameras could see them anymore. Say it. God, just say it. “Dean.” It wasn’t a shout like before, it was almost a whisper. But it subdued Jensen as if it had been a cannonblast. He lay still, staring up into Jared’s eyes, each trying in vain to read the other’s expression. Sam’s face? Dean’s? Or were they seeing each other?
And what the fuck was the next line? It was Jensen’s, Jensen who never blew his lines. And yet he seemed to be searching Jared’s face for a clue of what to do, where this was going. Why there seemed to be so much going on that wasn’t in the script. Finally he spoke the lines, with barely enough volume to be heard. “Sam? What’s happening?”
Jared loosened his grip and straightened very slowly, still holding both Jensen’s wrists in his hands as he sat up. He ran a thumb and finger across the place he’d surely bruised, gently, searching Jensen’s eyes. “I’m sorry I had to hurt you,” he said softly. Sam’s lines, but there was so much emotion in his voice, the words were extraneous. They stared at each other, but no more words would come. Jared could feel Jensen’s heart thudding against his chest as he cradled his wrists there.
From the director’s close-up view, the intimacy between the two men was as clearly etched as if it had been subtitled for him. He knew it for what it was, long before they did.
“Cut,” he said reluctantly, immediately sensing the crew’s relief.
Jared swallowed hard, releasing Jensen’s hands but not getting up. Jensen rubbed at his own wrists, wincing. “Ow.”
“You mad at me?” Jared asked, trying to be flip but sounding more concerned. His voice was still shaky.
“Should be.”
Jared shifted slightly. “Even if you were, I’m the one on top,” he reminded, shifting his weight again to emphasize his position.
“How long are you gonna stay there?”
“How long do you want me to?” Jared returned, smirking. Oblivious to the crew re-setting the scene. Oblivious to everything but the green eyes looking up at him and the firmness of the lean body trapped beneath him. Suddenly aware of the hard bunch of stomach muscles there.
Jensen looked at him sideways, then ran a hand up one of Jared’s denim-clad thighs, smirking back. Jared let him get almost up to the crotch, daring his costar to keep going. He finally reached down to knock Jensen’s hand away just as the other man’s fingers brushed against parts of him too sensitive to ignore.
“You are really tempting fate,” Jared warned, shooting him an evil smile and grabbing Jensen’s wrists suddenly as though he were going to pin him again.
Jensen squirmed. “No! Jared, don’t, seriously, jesus, you don’t know how fucking strong you are.”
Jared let go instantly, patting Jensen on the chest affectionately and then rifling fingers through his mussed hair. “Okay, okay,” he laughed, finally getting up. “C’mon, let me give you a hand up.”
Jensen paused, looking up at Jared with a bemused expression on his face. He dropped his gaze almost imperceptibly, then allowed Jared to pull him to his feet, where he stood staring at his costar grinning.
“What’s that look for?”
Jensen leaned close, one hand on Jared’s shoulder to pull him in. When he spoke, it was in a conspiratorial whisper. “You’re gonna be a big hit with the ladies if you go walkin’ around the set like that,” he said.
Jensen continued to grin as Jared blushed, completely at a loss for words. “I – it’s – it’s just – spontaneous, I mean –
“Hey,” Jensen laughed, “don’t sweat it, I’m flattered.”
“Oh, don’t flatter yourself, it was just a physical scene.” Jared could feel his cheeks burning.
“Yeah, sure, you’re probably right.” Jensen had his head cocked to the left a little, the way he did when he was puzzled by something. Looking up at Jared with that all-consuming stare. He was still grinning. “Didn’t have anything to do with my hand on your thigh.”
Jared glanced from left to right quickly to see if anyone else was within earshot, even more embarrassed. “No, it didn’t,” he insisted.
“Or the fact that you were on top of me.”
“No, not that either.” Jared was really flustered now, not sure whether Jensen was just trying to make him blush or really asking. He didn’t even know what the real answer was. Why *was* he so excited? And why wasn’t it getting any better? Jensen’s big eyes were positively sparkling with his enjoyment of this little conversation. He looked like a little kid who’d just opened an awesome present. Jared stared hard at him. “You’re really enjoying this, aren’t you?”
Jensen broke into a bigger smile. Warm, not ridiculing. It didn’t help Jared’s current state at all, in fact it made everything worse. It made him think that he wanted to lean over and kiss that grin right off those full smirking lips. And then it shocked him that he’d just felt like kissing another guy. He always said he was totally cool with that, whatever, whoever you were into, totally fine. But not for himself. He had Sandy. And besides, this was Jensen. Jensen smiling up at him. “Hell yeah. I love making you sweat.”
And making me hard, Jared thought to himself, but he didn’t have the balls to say it out loud. He didn’t even think it was true, really, this was his problem and his alone. But Jensen was clearly enjoying his discomfort about it. He couldn’t think of a damn thing to say.
Finally Jensen took pity on him. “Okay, I’ll drop it. Stop worrying so much, Jare.” He used the nickname nobody else really did, dropping the ‘d’ at the end of his name. In the moment, that felt strangely reassuring. Jensen patted him on the back affectionately, his fingers massaging one shoulder for a moment before letting go, as if to say ‘it’s okay.’ “Let’s go get some dinner, we’re done for the day.”
Jared still felt funny, not at all sure he wanted to have anything to eat, with Jensen or otherwise. But he didn’t want to seem like he was avoiding anything either, so he agreed. Relieved that Jensen didn’t bring it up again, that talk turned to cars and sports and the beer they were drinking and the rare snow that was blanketing Vancouver. It wasn’t until they parted for the night that he thought about it again, when he held Jensen’s gaze a little too long. “What?” Jensen asked. Not annoyed, just asking.
“Nothing,” Jared lied. Jensen regarded him seriously, pondering something, perhaps whether or not to call him on it. To Jared’s relief, he didn’t.
“Okay. G’nite. Tell Sandy I said hi.”
And should I tell her I was sporting wood for you today too? Jared wondered as he walked away. He ran his hand through his long hair, as he did when he was troubled. What the hell would she think of that? What did Jensen think?
He opted for phone sex with Sandy instead of just jerking off alone, vaguely aware that he wanted to keep his thoughts in places that wouldn’t freak him out when he got off. It mostly worked.
Chapter 5