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runedgirlTitle:Five Things Sam Wishes Dean Knew and One Thing He’s Glad He Doesn’t
Pairing: Sam/Dean
Rating: (Surprisingly!) PG-13 for implied Wincest
Warning: It will make you cry.
Spoilers: Takes place after AHBL.
Disclaimer: You know the drill. Not mine, just using for fun, not profit.
Five Things Sam Wishes Dean Knew and One Thing He’s Glad He Doesn’t
Sam watches Dean sleep in the predawn light. His brother is most beautiful when he’s unconscious. Or coming. Any moment when he’s allowed himself to let himself go, when he’s no longer putting up a front. Sam thinks back, pulling memories and half formed desires up from the grey morning of his heart.
Dean doesn’t know that the first time Sam came, he wasn’t thinking of the little girl who sat next to him in Social Studies class. He was thinking of Dean. He was twelve.
Dean doesn’t know that when he arches his back against Sam’s touch Sam sometimes wants to cry.
Dean doesn’t know that Sam once stole the Impala and took it for a joyride. He was fourteen.
Dean doesn’t know that he’s not Sam’s “brother” or “lover”. He’s his Dean. And that’s everything. Labels become unnecessary just like everyone and everything else is unnecessary as long as he’s got Dean.
Dean doesn’t know, really know, that Sam would do anything for him. Sam knows Dean won’t let himself believe that one. The implications are too shattering. And Dean doesn’t think he’s worth that kind of love. He is.
And then there’s the thing that Sam is glad Dean doesn’t know. That Sam has figured out a way, the only way, to save his brother from the demon that will be coming around to claim his soul in just a few short days.
Sam sits in the predawn light watching Dean sleep, watching the grey of the gun in his hands finally resolving itself into a separate grey from the light in the room.
Three Things Dean Knows And One Thing He Doesn’t
Dean knows that Sam came for the first time thinking of him because the stupid little kid said his name right before he let out the little whimper that let Dean know what was going on in the other bed. He got up afterwards and jerked off in the bathroom trying not to think of anyone. It didn’t work.
Dean knows about Sam and the Impala. He let his kid brother think that he had gotten away with something. What Sam didn’t know is that Dean was shadowing him in Dad’s pick-up, just to make sure he didn’t kill himself. Or the Impala.
And Dean knows that Sam has figured it out. Dean knows what’s coming. Because Dean also knows that Sam will do anything for him. He gets that. So when Sam’s lips brush against his and he hears the gun cock near his ear, he smiles.
Dean doesn’t know there are two bullets in Sam’s gun.
Pairing: Sam/Dean
Rating: (Surprisingly!) PG-13 for implied Wincest
Warning: It will make you cry.
Spoilers: Takes place after AHBL.
Disclaimer: You know the drill. Not mine, just using for fun, not profit.
Five Things Sam Wishes Dean Knew and One Thing He’s Glad He Doesn’t
Sam watches Dean sleep in the predawn light. His brother is most beautiful when he’s unconscious. Or coming. Any moment when he’s allowed himself to let himself go, when he’s no longer putting up a front. Sam thinks back, pulling memories and half formed desires up from the grey morning of his heart.
Dean doesn’t know that the first time Sam came, he wasn’t thinking of the little girl who sat next to him in Social Studies class. He was thinking of Dean. He was twelve.
Dean doesn’t know that when he arches his back against Sam’s touch Sam sometimes wants to cry.
Dean doesn’t know that Sam once stole the Impala and took it for a joyride. He was fourteen.
Dean doesn’t know that he’s not Sam’s “brother” or “lover”. He’s his Dean. And that’s everything. Labels become unnecessary just like everyone and everything else is unnecessary as long as he’s got Dean.
Dean doesn’t know, really know, that Sam would do anything for him. Sam knows Dean won’t let himself believe that one. The implications are too shattering. And Dean doesn’t think he’s worth that kind of love. He is.
And then there’s the thing that Sam is glad Dean doesn’t know. That Sam has figured out a way, the only way, to save his brother from the demon that will be coming around to claim his soul in just a few short days.
Sam sits in the predawn light watching Dean sleep, watching the grey of the gun in his hands finally resolving itself into a separate grey from the light in the room.
Three Things Dean Knows And One Thing He Doesn’t
Dean knows that Sam came for the first time thinking of him because the stupid little kid said his name right before he let out the little whimper that let Dean know what was going on in the other bed. He got up afterwards and jerked off in the bathroom trying not to think of anyone. It didn’t work.
Dean knows about Sam and the Impala. He let his kid brother think that he had gotten away with something. What Sam didn’t know is that Dean was shadowing him in Dad’s pick-up, just to make sure he didn’t kill himself. Or the Impala.
And Dean knows that Sam has figured it out. Dean knows what’s coming. Because Dean also knows that Sam will do anything for him. He gets that. So when Sam’s lips brush against his and he hears the gun cock near his ear, he smiles.
Dean doesn’t know there are two bullets in Sam’s gun.
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no subject
Date: 2007-06-20 07:36 am (UTC)It made Layne cry at work, too.
This is truly beautiful. A keeper, I'll be reading this over and over again.
Can't quote anything 'coz I'd end up quoting everything!
(no subject)
From:Wow, just wow ...
Date: 2007-06-20 12:27 pm (UTC)Re: Wow, just wow ...
From:(no subject)
From:no subject
Date: 2007-06-20 04:48 pm (UTC)(no subject)
From:no subject
Date: 2007-06-21 01:53 am (UTC)This is stunning.
(no subject)
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From:no subject
Date: 2007-06-22 12:15 am (UTC)lesha
(no subject)
From:no subject
Date: 2007-06-22 02:22 am (UTC)(no subject)
From:no subject
Date: 2007-06-28 12:48 am (UTC)I recced your story, Five Things Sam Wishes Dean Knew and One Thing He’s Glad He Doesn’t, to
lesha
ps. Beautiful and sad...so sad.
(no subject)
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Date: 2007-06-28 01:03 am (UTC)(no subject)
From:no subject
Date: 2007-06-28 10:43 am (UTC)Sadly beautiful.
(no subject)
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Date: 2007-06-28 11:44 pm (UTC)(no subject)
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Date: 2007-06-30 08:53 pm (UTC)(no subject)
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Date: 2007-07-01 06:26 am (UTC)(no subject)
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Date: 2007-07-02 06:08 pm (UTC)(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:Re: for such a pretty page and innocent title
From:no subject
Date: 2007-08-09 09:36 pm (UTC)I think I've read it or at least came across it some time ago.
Dean doesn’t know, really know, that Sam would do anything for him. Sam knows Dean won’t let himself believe that one. The implications are too shattering. And Dean doesn’t think he’s worth that kind of love. He is.
True and in fact, very painful. Beautifully put down in words.
He gets that. So when Sam’s lips brush against his and he hears the gun cock near his ear, he smiles.
Dean doesn’t know there are two bullets in Sam’s gun.
And I cry just from this. God.
(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:no subject
Date: 2007-08-18 10:53 am (UTC)You just know that no matter how much we want it, when they finally do end the series, it not going to be 'and they both lived happily ever after'!
But dammit I want it to be!
*sniffle*
(no subject)
From:no subject
Date: 2007-08-25 05:23 am (UTC)*Claws self*
*Adores you utterly*
*hugs*
(no subject)
From:no subject
Date: 2007-09-02 06:27 pm (UTC)I am just like, stunned. Even though I knew what the last line was going to be before I read this, it's still killed me. Just, wow. I'm about to cry, the more I think about this. The last two paragraphs are amazing. Amazing. Oh my goodness. It's so sad. And now I actually am crying.
God, this is just so good and so sad and angsty. It's just...perfect. And I love it.
(no subject)
From:no subject
Date: 2007-09-04 06:09 pm (UTC)(no subject)
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Date: 2007-09-23 12:45 pm (UTC)(no subject)
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Date: 2007-10-11 09:03 am (UTC)(no subject)
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Date: 2007-10-22 08:56 pm (UTC)Really beautiful!
Keep going!
(no subject)
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Date: 2007-11-25 06:26 am (UTC)<3 xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox
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