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runedgirlTitle:Five Things Sam Wishes Dean Knew and One Thing He’s Glad He Doesn’t
Pairing: Sam/Dean
Rating: (Surprisingly!) PG-13 for implied Wincest
Warning: It will make you cry.
Spoilers: Takes place after AHBL.
Disclaimer: You know the drill. Not mine, just using for fun, not profit.
Five Things Sam Wishes Dean Knew and One Thing He’s Glad He Doesn’t
Sam watches Dean sleep in the predawn light. His brother is most beautiful when he’s unconscious. Or coming. Any moment when he’s allowed himself to let himself go, when he’s no longer putting up a front. Sam thinks back, pulling memories and half formed desires up from the grey morning of his heart.
Dean doesn’t know that the first time Sam came, he wasn’t thinking of the little girl who sat next to him in Social Studies class. He was thinking of Dean. He was twelve.
Dean doesn’t know that when he arches his back against Sam’s touch Sam sometimes wants to cry.
Dean doesn’t know that Sam once stole the Impala and took it for a joyride. He was fourteen.
Dean doesn’t know that he’s not Sam’s “brother” or “lover”. He’s his Dean. And that’s everything. Labels become unnecessary just like everyone and everything else is unnecessary as long as he’s got Dean.
Dean doesn’t know, really know, that Sam would do anything for him. Sam knows Dean won’t let himself believe that one. The implications are too shattering. And Dean doesn’t think he’s worth that kind of love. He is.
And then there’s the thing that Sam is glad Dean doesn’t know. That Sam has figured out a way, the only way, to save his brother from the demon that will be coming around to claim his soul in just a few short days.
Sam sits in the predawn light watching Dean sleep, watching the grey of the gun in his hands finally resolving itself into a separate grey from the light in the room.
Three Things Dean Knows And One Thing He Doesn’t
Dean knows that Sam came for the first time thinking of him because the stupid little kid said his name right before he let out the little whimper that let Dean know what was going on in the other bed. He got up afterwards and jerked off in the bathroom trying not to think of anyone. It didn’t work.
Dean knows about Sam and the Impala. He let his kid brother think that he had gotten away with something. What Sam didn’t know is that Dean was shadowing him in Dad’s pick-up, just to make sure he didn’t kill himself. Or the Impala.
And Dean knows that Sam has figured it out. Dean knows what’s coming. Because Dean also knows that Sam will do anything for him. He gets that. So when Sam’s lips brush against his and he hears the gun cock near his ear, he smiles.
Dean doesn’t know there are two bullets in Sam’s gun.
Pairing: Sam/Dean
Rating: (Surprisingly!) PG-13 for implied Wincest
Warning: It will make you cry.
Spoilers: Takes place after AHBL.
Disclaimer: You know the drill. Not mine, just using for fun, not profit.
Five Things Sam Wishes Dean Knew and One Thing He’s Glad He Doesn’t
Sam watches Dean sleep in the predawn light. His brother is most beautiful when he’s unconscious. Or coming. Any moment when he’s allowed himself to let himself go, when he’s no longer putting up a front. Sam thinks back, pulling memories and half formed desires up from the grey morning of his heart.
Dean doesn’t know that the first time Sam came, he wasn’t thinking of the little girl who sat next to him in Social Studies class. He was thinking of Dean. He was twelve.
Dean doesn’t know that when he arches his back against Sam’s touch Sam sometimes wants to cry.
Dean doesn’t know that Sam once stole the Impala and took it for a joyride. He was fourteen.
Dean doesn’t know that he’s not Sam’s “brother” or “lover”. He’s his Dean. And that’s everything. Labels become unnecessary just like everyone and everything else is unnecessary as long as he’s got Dean.
Dean doesn’t know, really know, that Sam would do anything for him. Sam knows Dean won’t let himself believe that one. The implications are too shattering. And Dean doesn’t think he’s worth that kind of love. He is.
And then there’s the thing that Sam is glad Dean doesn’t know. That Sam has figured out a way, the only way, to save his brother from the demon that will be coming around to claim his soul in just a few short days.
Sam sits in the predawn light watching Dean sleep, watching the grey of the gun in his hands finally resolving itself into a separate grey from the light in the room.
Three Things Dean Knows And One Thing He Doesn’t
Dean knows that Sam came for the first time thinking of him because the stupid little kid said his name right before he let out the little whimper that let Dean know what was going on in the other bed. He got up afterwards and jerked off in the bathroom trying not to think of anyone. It didn’t work.
Dean knows about Sam and the Impala. He let his kid brother think that he had gotten away with something. What Sam didn’t know is that Dean was shadowing him in Dad’s pick-up, just to make sure he didn’t kill himself. Or the Impala.
And Dean knows that Sam has figured it out. Dean knows what’s coming. Because Dean also knows that Sam will do anything for him. He gets that. So when Sam’s lips brush against his and he hears the gun cock near his ear, he smiles.
Dean doesn’t know there are two bullets in Sam’s gun.
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no subject
Date: 2007-11-27 01:34 am (UTC)(no subject)
From:no subject
Date: 2007-11-27 09:36 am (UTC)(no subject)
From:no subject
Date: 2007-11-27 10:19 pm (UTC)And yet if it came to that, I can't see Sam doing anything else.
(no subject)
From:omg
Date: 2007-11-30 03:47 pm (UTC)when I see the last sentence, my heart is broken into pieces....Oh poor little sammy, and Dean has been knowing the truth, but he really didn't know there is one more bullet....
Great job, although my heart is still hurting.
In fact I'm a bigfan from HK,can I have an honour to translate this great story into chinese?I really want to share this to my friend and broke their heart!(grin)
Re: omg
From:Re: omg
From:no subject
Date: 2007-12-06 01:27 am (UTC)(no subject)
From:no subject
Date: 2008-04-24 05:15 am (UTC)(no subject)
From:no subject
Date: 2008-09-11 02:31 pm (UTC)(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:no subject
Date: 2009-04-17 10:46 pm (UTC)wow. god that hurt. it was like a knife right through my heart. very well done. *is speechless*
(no subject)
From:no subject
Date: 2009-04-17 11:01 pm (UTC)It´s short but packs such a punch in every single sentence and the last line is incredibly intense and powerful. Painful, yes, but also amazingly beautiful in its finality; it shouldn´t come unexpected since there are so many hints in the story itself but it catches you by surprise which is proof of a great story, in my opinion.
(no subject)
From:no subject
Date: 2009-04-18 12:29 am (UTC)Just...
Ow.
(no subject)
From:no subject
Date: 2009-04-18 01:37 am (UTC)(no subject)
From:no subject
Date: 2009-04-18 02:47 am (UTC)this is incredible. it's short and hits you like a punch in the gut. good lord. thank you so much for the read.
(no subject)
From:no subject
Date: 2009-04-19 05:23 pm (UTC)Every time I am re-reading this story it gets me. And I mean it in a good way. I always have to stop and think about this beauty. It´s so strong, so pure..
It´s one of the best stories I´ve ever read and I´ve been reading for ages.
I´ve printed this out and whenever I am sad or... you know the feeling...
Well I am better than :)
Thanks for sharing this! <3
(no subject)
From:no subject
Date: 2009-07-30 10:33 pm (UTC)It was so Dean that it really hurt.
<3
(no subject)
From:no subject
Date: 2009-08-01 09:34 am (UTC)Thanks for sharing :)
Hugs
Julie
(no subject)
From:no subject
Date: 2009-08-03 06:59 am (UTC)(no subject)
From:no subject
Date: 2009-08-24 09:30 pm (UTC)Oh dear Lord.
I got sent here by
(no subject)
From:no subject
Date: 2009-09-15 06:09 am (UTC)and oh good god.
it's 2am and im sitting here alone in the dark crying.just holy shit...
this was heartbreaking and beautiful
and romeo and juliet ain't got nuttin on this shit >_>the last line just broke me down...*deep breaths*
this was amazing, i'd kill to be able to write something like this is the short amount of words that you did it in.
amazing job!
*hugs*
(no subject)
From:no subject
Date: 2009-12-21 06:27 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-12-22 05:45 pm (UTC)Gosh, beautiful but heartbroken T.T
no subject
Date: 2010-03-28 12:25 am (UTC)awesome work. XD
(no subject)
From:no subject
Date: 2010-06-06 03:54 am (UTC)I thought the way out was for Sam to kill himself. But then switch to Dean's pov and it's worse...Dean knew about Sam's plan, but was calm about it, and then the gun was against Dean's head which explains why he wasn't planning to stop Sam-Dean's death is the solution...but the two bullets, Dean just couldn't think Sam would do that to himself(because he would think that he wasn't worth it, and because he couldn't ever let himself contemplate that Sam would really kill himself).
This was wonderful.
(no subject)
From:May I translate your amazing fic?
Date: 2010-12-04 01:43 pm (UTC)When I saw the last line, I actually screamed.
I was like "What?! No!! Oh God..."
I like it so much that I really want to share with my friends.
May I have your permission for me to translate your amazing fic into Mandarin?
And allow me to post the Mandarin version at the supernatural fan forum?
no subject
Date: 2011-01-28 07:10 pm (UTC)*whimper*