runedgirl: (Default)
runedgirl ([personal profile] runedgirl) wrote2007-06-19 10:58 am

Five Things Sam Wishes Dean Knew and One Thing He’s Glad He Doesn’t

Title:Five Things Sam Wishes Dean Knew and One Thing He’s Glad He Doesn’t
Pairing: Sam/Dean
Rating: (Surprisingly!) PG-13 for implied Wincest
Warning: It will make you cry.
Spoilers: Takes place after AHBL.
Disclaimer: You know the drill. Not mine, just using for fun, not profit.



Five Things Sam Wishes Dean Knew and One Thing He’s Glad He Doesn’t

Sam watches Dean sleep in the predawn light. His brother is most beautiful when he’s unconscious. Or coming. Any moment when he’s allowed himself to let himself go, when he’s no longer putting up a front. Sam thinks back, pulling memories and half formed desires up from the grey morning of his heart.

Dean doesn’t know that the first time Sam came, he wasn’t thinking of the little girl who sat next to him in Social Studies class. He was thinking of Dean. He was twelve.

Dean doesn’t know that when he arches his back against Sam’s touch Sam sometimes wants to cry.

Dean doesn’t know that Sam once stole the Impala and took it for a joyride. He was fourteen.

Dean doesn’t know that he’s not Sam’s “brother” or “lover”. He’s his Dean. And that’s everything. Labels become unnecessary just like everyone and everything else is unnecessary as long as he’s got Dean.

Dean doesn’t know, really know, that Sam would do anything for him. Sam knows Dean won’t let himself believe that one. The implications are too shattering. And Dean doesn’t think he’s worth that kind of love. He is.

And then there’s the thing that Sam is glad Dean doesn’t know. That Sam has figured out a way, the only way, to save his brother from the demon that will be coming around to claim his soul in just a few short days.

Sam sits in the predawn light watching Dean sleep, watching the grey of the gun in his hands finally resolving itself into a separate grey from the light in the room.


Three Things Dean Knows And One Thing He Doesn’t

Dean knows that Sam came for the first time thinking of him because the stupid little kid said his name right before he let out the little whimper that let Dean know what was going on in the other bed. He got up afterwards and jerked off in the bathroom trying not to think of anyone. It didn’t work.

Dean knows about Sam and the Impala. He let his kid brother think that he had gotten away with something. What Sam didn’t know is that Dean was shadowing him in Dad’s pick-up, just to make sure he didn’t kill himself. Or the Impala.

And Dean knows that Sam has figured it out. Dean knows what’s coming. Because Dean also knows that Sam will do anything for him. He gets that. So when Sam’s lips brush against his and he hears the gun cock near his ear, he smiles.

Dean doesn’t know there are two bullets in Sam’s gun.

[identity profile] growyourwings.livejournal.com 2007-06-20 01:03 am (UTC)(link)
Okay, so I'm an unabashed "happy ending" kinda gal. I usually don't read any fics with a "character death" or "very sad" warning on it--just because I can't deal. I'm an eternal optimist--always thinking there has just got to be a good way out of anything. I'm okay with lotsa angst--just with happy resolutions.

I also tend not to read the "five things" type of fic--only because they tend to be too short for my greediness.

I read this because it was posted by you and I've yet to read something by you all that I do not enjoy and like. (Although I really did think twice about reading since it hit 2 of my "don't read" buttons--but past history won out. And I'm glad it did.)

Okay, so having said all that. I *still* haven't read anything by you that I have not enjoyed and liked.

Wow. Very well done. Made me really think and consider the possibilities. Demonstrated very well the love between the two brothers (and I don't mean just Wincest-type love.) The last line is a killer. I rec'd this to a friend after having read it. Don't get me wrong, I still don't like character-death type fics--but this?. Again, wow. In a class by itself. I have no other words. As someone else already pointed out--when the final choice came down, it perhaps was the only "happy" (if you can call it that) resolution.


[identity profile] runedgirl.livejournal.com 2007-06-20 01:56 pm (UTC)(link)
You don't know how crazy happy this makes me. What a compliment! That you like what you've read before enough to take a chance on something you would not normally read is good enough all by itself. That you liked this is just icing on the cake. And that it made you *think*? Darlin', that's the cherry on the top as far as I'm concerned.

Know what you mean about the "don't read" buttons too - I've got several of my own, so the fact that you decided to read anyway really resonates.

*Thanks*:)
Kat