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runedgirlTitle: Where Sam and Dean Leave off and We Begin
Fandom: RPS
Pairing: Jared/Jensen
Rating: Eventually NC-17, but you have to wait
Summary: Things in the show have a way of spilling over into their personal lives, and vice versa
Chapter 2
The ring of his cell woke Jared the next morning, in the middle of a dream. A good dream. He flipped it open with eyes still closed. “What?”
“Where are you?” Jensen’s voice, his “partners in crime” tone.
“In bed.” Jared stretched langorously under the covers, one hand straying restlessly, wanting to finish what had been happening in the dream that Jensen had so rudely awakened him from.
“Good, stay there.”
Jared’s eyes snapped open. “Why? You planning on coming to join me, or what?” No idea why that’s where his mind leapt to, it just came out of his mouth before he thought better of it.
Jensen laughed on the other end. “You wish.”
“You wish I wished,” Jared returned, wide awake now.
Jensen sighed. “I’m still in bed too, and I wanna stay here for a little while.” His tone was more serious, and Jared caught a suggestion of something being not quite right. They knew each other well enough to pick up on those impossible-to-articulate signals, even over the phone.
“You sick?” That was as much care and compassion as they usually conveyed to each other outright, no matter how much concern was going on underneath.
“No. Not really.” Jensen sounded evasive, and that got Jared annoyed.
“Don’t dick around with me, Jen. Do you just wanna get us both in trouble or what?”
Now Jensen sounded annoyed. “Is that what you think? That I’d do that?”
“Well it wouldn’t be the first time, would it?” Actually Jensen was the more responsible of the two as often as Jared, and they both knew it. But Jared wasn’t in any mood for being reminded of that right now. He was pissed at his costar, and he didn’t really know why. That theme again….
Jensen could hear it. “Never mind, forget I asked. I’m on my way to the set now.” And he hung up.
Fuck. Now he didn’t even have time to jerk off. Jared flung his long legs off the side of the bed and pulled on his jeans. He’d give Jensen a piece of his mind when he got there.
Jared was only a few steps behind his costar as they both headed to make-up, walking briskly since they were both over an hour late for call. “What the fuck was your problem this morning?” Jared demanded, but Jensen only kept walking, ignoring him. Jared caught up with him easily, grabbing his shoulder from behind to get his attention, catching Jensen off guard and putting them face to face. “C’mon, what --- what?” Jared stared hard at the prominent bruise on Jensen’s left cheekbone. “Oh, shit.” Jensen stared back, looking a little embarrassed.
“I did that?” Jared shuffled his feet uncomfortably.
Jensen shrugged. “Guess so.”
“Sorry.”
Jensen was still staring. He didn’t say anything for a few long moments, then his expression visibly softened. “Yeah, not your fault. I wanted it to be real,” he said quietly. “Guess I got a little carried away.”
Jared had the feeling that they were talking about something else all together. Something about the look in Jensen’s eyes, the way he was staring. Impulsively, Jared brushed one finger across the dark smudge on Jensen’s cheek. “Yeah, me too.” In his head he said, I’d never want to hurt you, Jen. Never. Specially not when you’re looking at me like that. With those eyes…. Jared shifted awkwardly, wishing once again that he’d had more time this morning to take care of ‘things’. He wondered if his discomfort was showing. And why the hell he was so uncomfortable.
“Let’s hope today’s not so …” Jensen paused for another long moment. “So physical.”
That was one way to put it, Jared thought. “Yeah.”
“We’d better get in there, you know we’re in trouble.” They took the side-by-side chairs in make-up, apologizing to Angelina in their best sweet-Texas-boys manner as she scolded them for making her have to rush to get them looking their best. She draped Jensen first, stopping her scolding abruptly as she noticed the discoloration on his cheek. Angelina lifted his chin to examine the bruise and figure out how to make it disappear for the cameras. She made a disapproving face, then walked by Jared and rapped him sharply on the top of the head.
“You boys need to learn how to play nice,” she said, raising an eyebrow.
* * *
Most of the time, they did. It was just the two of them, and that was always a risk – two heartthrobs on one show, fighting each other for the limelight, for top billing, for the most adoration. That was what everyone else had probably expected. The brilliance of the show’s casting agent was in pairing these two young men who didn’t fit the expectation. Instead they had seen each other as kindred spirits from the day they met, as allies in each other’s and the show’s success instead of competitors.
The days were long in Vancouver, 18 hour days for months at a time. They got to know each other better than most real brothers ever do. But it was more than that. They both inhabited their characters in such a way that they felt and experienced the emotions running through Sam and Dean. When Sam looked at his brother, he felt such love and respect, such admiration, such need. Jared couldn’t act it without feeling it himself, and it was Jensen’s eyes he looked into as he let himself. Dean’s yes, but Jensen’s. In that strange parallel process that always went on when he was acting, Jared was always aware that he was loving Jensen as well as Dean. And it went both ways. Jensen could make his chest ache with the longing Jared could see in Dean’s big expressive eyes, the love, the fierce determination to protect his brother. He’d never really felt anything like that, not in real life. Who loves like that? He had the feeling that Jensen would knock over mountains for him if it came to that, every bit as much as Dean would for Sammy. Jensen was that convincing.
Jared had watched and learned from his costar, who had more years and a lot more experience in the business. And not just about acting. Jensen knew how play up his good looks without being at all obnoxious – he just took it in stride. He flirted subtly, with anyone who he knew was interested. Women, men, it didn’t matter. Jensen knew when he was being checked out, he could read the signals easily enough -- the nervousness, the awkwardness, the misplaced laugh or stumble of words. Whether it was an interviewer, a fellow actor, or a fan. And when he heard it, he responded, his incredibly expressive face letting the other know that he knew they were wanting him and that he welcomed it.
It wasn’t long before Jared could do it too. They could flirt with others, and they could flirt with each other for others’ benefit. They knew that every time one of them put an arm around the other (this was usually Jared embracing Jensen, since he was the taller one), there would be a photo snapped or a video clip taken. And it was easy, because they genuinely liked each other. The physicality they had to express between their characters translated easily, comfortably, into their real lives.
Until now.
Now Jared felt anything but comfortable. And there was no escaping being close to Jensen, not emotionally and not physically. Sam and Dean were strung together with a love so strong it refused to be severed by anything, human or otherwise. As brothers, they could indulge it wholeheartedly, say things to each other that Jared and Jensen could never say. And yet there they were, speaking the words to each other anyway. Feeling them.
At their first break in filming, Jared followed Jensen to the craft service table, feeling an overwhelming need to talk to him. About something. He wasn’t quite sure what.
He reached across to grab the only remaining fruit bar from the basket, beating Jensen to it and giving a triumphant “Mine” to announce it. Lame way to start a conversation, but it fit with the prevailing guy rules.
Jensen shot him a look that spoke volumes. Disgusted. Amused. “Asshole.”
Jared broke it in half and offered one to his costar. “Dude, I was gonna share. Truce?”
He had to endure another long moment of Jensen’s piercing stare, wondering if Jensen was in a forgiving mood. “I should say no, really. I don’t want you to think I’m that easy.”
Jared smiled. “But I like thinking of you as easy,” he returned, a hint of flirtation creeping back into his voice now that Jensen wasn’t angry.
“I bet you do.” They were both grinning now. “But we both know who the slut is around here.”
“What?” Jared laughed out loud at the clear invitation to grapple. He grabbed the shorter man around the chest with one hand, pulling him backwards and up against him. “Take it back, jerk,” he teased. Jensen reached up with one hand to grab the arm now around his shoulders, and it struck Jared instantly that it was the same gesture that Dean had made when Sam had been torturing him, one hand on his arm to stop him. Or not. The sudden parallel gave him a shock of excitement that he wasn’t at all prepared for, and Jensen slipped easily from his grasp.
“Oh, you’re losin’ your touch,” Jensen smirked. “Who’s the big strong man now?” And to accentuate it, Jensen gave him a friendly punch on the arm.
Without missing a beat, Jared went after him again, catching him off guard and pulling him right back into the same near-headlock. Both their half-eaten fruit bars fell to the floor as Jensen grabbed for his costar’s arm with both hands this time to break his grasp. He was strong, but Jared had the advantage of being both taller and more determined, and he held Jensen tightly, not wanting to let go. “That would be me,” he half whispered against Jensen’s neck, “I’m the big strong man. And don’t you forget it.”
Jensen was frustratingly hard to piss off. He let himself go limp against Jared’s chest, leaning back into the hold, letting his head rest against Jared’s shoulder. “Oooh,” he said sarcastically. Jared relaxed his grip, smiling, still holding Jensen loosely against him. “Damn you,” he said into Jensen’s shoulder. “I’m tryin’ to be all serious here.”
“Why?”
Jared realized it was a serious question. One he wished he could answer. Jensen was still pressed against him, Jared’s arm holding them together. He could feel the warmth of the other man’s back, firm and muscled, resting easily against his chest. He knew Jensen was waiting for him to say something.
“I’m kinda freaked out that I hit you,” he managed finally. “I thought Angelina was gonna kill me for bruising that beautiful perfect face of yours.”
Jensen pulled away and turned to face him, his expression once again serious. Or something else, Jared couldn’t quite decipher just what. Touched? Skeptical? “Damn. Hurting me really got to you, didn’t it?”
This was a little too close to the truth. Jared struggled to decide whether to blow it off with a joke or admit it, whatever the hell “it” was. But Jensen looked like he really wanted to know. “Yeah, it did. You’re such a good actor, it just really seemed …” Jared trailed off, not sure what else to say.
“So are you. That was …”
“Intense. It was fucking intense,” Jared interrupted.
Jensen was giving him that knowing half-smile now. “Yeah, it was,” he said softly, raising his dark-lashed eyes in that flirtatious way he had, when he suspected someone was wanting him. Jared recognized it instantly, feeling himself color with a rush of embarrassment as Jensen went on. “I had the feeling you were really enjoying givin’ it to me.”
Jared wished he still had his costar in the headlock that would keep him out of that piercing gaze. “That was the demon you were sensing,” he returned, only half kidding.
“Well, that demon was really getting off on fucking with me.”
That left Jared speechless for a minute, something that didn’t happen all that often. Jensen clearly had sensed more than Jared had thought he did. Not that he should have been surprised about that. In the moment, he had known the feelings which were overwhelming him were shared. He just hadn’t expected Jensen to admit it. They stared at each other, wondering how far to take this conversation.
“And maybe you were getting off on knowing that,” Jared finally answered, though it made his stomach feel sort of queasy to say it out loud.
Jensen reached down to retrieve the half-eaten fruit bar from the floor, breaking eye contact. He shrugged, looked up at Jared again. “Maybe,” he said.
Chapter 3
Fandom: RPS
Pairing: Jared/Jensen
Rating: Eventually NC-17, but you have to wait
Summary: Things in the show have a way of spilling over into their personal lives, and vice versa
Chapter 2
The ring of his cell woke Jared the next morning, in the middle of a dream. A good dream. He flipped it open with eyes still closed. “What?”
“Where are you?” Jensen’s voice, his “partners in crime” tone.
“In bed.” Jared stretched langorously under the covers, one hand straying restlessly, wanting to finish what had been happening in the dream that Jensen had so rudely awakened him from.
“Good, stay there.”
Jared’s eyes snapped open. “Why? You planning on coming to join me, or what?” No idea why that’s where his mind leapt to, it just came out of his mouth before he thought better of it.
Jensen laughed on the other end. “You wish.”
“You wish I wished,” Jared returned, wide awake now.
Jensen sighed. “I’m still in bed too, and I wanna stay here for a little while.” His tone was more serious, and Jared caught a suggestion of something being not quite right. They knew each other well enough to pick up on those impossible-to-articulate signals, even over the phone.
“You sick?” That was as much care and compassion as they usually conveyed to each other outright, no matter how much concern was going on underneath.
“No. Not really.” Jensen sounded evasive, and that got Jared annoyed.
“Don’t dick around with me, Jen. Do you just wanna get us both in trouble or what?”
Now Jensen sounded annoyed. “Is that what you think? That I’d do that?”
“Well it wouldn’t be the first time, would it?” Actually Jensen was the more responsible of the two as often as Jared, and they both knew it. But Jared wasn’t in any mood for being reminded of that right now. He was pissed at his costar, and he didn’t really know why. That theme again….
Jensen could hear it. “Never mind, forget I asked. I’m on my way to the set now.” And he hung up.
Fuck. Now he didn’t even have time to jerk off. Jared flung his long legs off the side of the bed and pulled on his jeans. He’d give Jensen a piece of his mind when he got there.
Jared was only a few steps behind his costar as they both headed to make-up, walking briskly since they were both over an hour late for call. “What the fuck was your problem this morning?” Jared demanded, but Jensen only kept walking, ignoring him. Jared caught up with him easily, grabbing his shoulder from behind to get his attention, catching Jensen off guard and putting them face to face. “C’mon, what --- what?” Jared stared hard at the prominent bruise on Jensen’s left cheekbone. “Oh, shit.” Jensen stared back, looking a little embarrassed.
“I did that?” Jared shuffled his feet uncomfortably.
Jensen shrugged. “Guess so.”
“Sorry.”
Jensen was still staring. He didn’t say anything for a few long moments, then his expression visibly softened. “Yeah, not your fault. I wanted it to be real,” he said quietly. “Guess I got a little carried away.”
Jared had the feeling that they were talking about something else all together. Something about the look in Jensen’s eyes, the way he was staring. Impulsively, Jared brushed one finger across the dark smudge on Jensen’s cheek. “Yeah, me too.” In his head he said, I’d never want to hurt you, Jen. Never. Specially not when you’re looking at me like that. With those eyes…. Jared shifted awkwardly, wishing once again that he’d had more time this morning to take care of ‘things’. He wondered if his discomfort was showing. And why the hell he was so uncomfortable.
“Let’s hope today’s not so …” Jensen paused for another long moment. “So physical.”
That was one way to put it, Jared thought. “Yeah.”
“We’d better get in there, you know we’re in trouble.” They took the side-by-side chairs in make-up, apologizing to Angelina in their best sweet-Texas-boys manner as she scolded them for making her have to rush to get them looking their best. She draped Jensen first, stopping her scolding abruptly as she noticed the discoloration on his cheek. Angelina lifted his chin to examine the bruise and figure out how to make it disappear for the cameras. She made a disapproving face, then walked by Jared and rapped him sharply on the top of the head.
“You boys need to learn how to play nice,” she said, raising an eyebrow.
* * *
Most of the time, they did. It was just the two of them, and that was always a risk – two heartthrobs on one show, fighting each other for the limelight, for top billing, for the most adoration. That was what everyone else had probably expected. The brilliance of the show’s casting agent was in pairing these two young men who didn’t fit the expectation. Instead they had seen each other as kindred spirits from the day they met, as allies in each other’s and the show’s success instead of competitors.
The days were long in Vancouver, 18 hour days for months at a time. They got to know each other better than most real brothers ever do. But it was more than that. They both inhabited their characters in such a way that they felt and experienced the emotions running through Sam and Dean. When Sam looked at his brother, he felt such love and respect, such admiration, such need. Jared couldn’t act it without feeling it himself, and it was Jensen’s eyes he looked into as he let himself. Dean’s yes, but Jensen’s. In that strange parallel process that always went on when he was acting, Jared was always aware that he was loving Jensen as well as Dean. And it went both ways. Jensen could make his chest ache with the longing Jared could see in Dean’s big expressive eyes, the love, the fierce determination to protect his brother. He’d never really felt anything like that, not in real life. Who loves like that? He had the feeling that Jensen would knock over mountains for him if it came to that, every bit as much as Dean would for Sammy. Jensen was that convincing.
Jared had watched and learned from his costar, who had more years and a lot more experience in the business. And not just about acting. Jensen knew how play up his good looks without being at all obnoxious – he just took it in stride. He flirted subtly, with anyone who he knew was interested. Women, men, it didn’t matter. Jensen knew when he was being checked out, he could read the signals easily enough -- the nervousness, the awkwardness, the misplaced laugh or stumble of words. Whether it was an interviewer, a fellow actor, or a fan. And when he heard it, he responded, his incredibly expressive face letting the other know that he knew they were wanting him and that he welcomed it.
It wasn’t long before Jared could do it too. They could flirt with others, and they could flirt with each other for others’ benefit. They knew that every time one of them put an arm around the other (this was usually Jared embracing Jensen, since he was the taller one), there would be a photo snapped or a video clip taken. And it was easy, because they genuinely liked each other. The physicality they had to express between their characters translated easily, comfortably, into their real lives.
Until now.
Now Jared felt anything but comfortable. And there was no escaping being close to Jensen, not emotionally and not physically. Sam and Dean were strung together with a love so strong it refused to be severed by anything, human or otherwise. As brothers, they could indulge it wholeheartedly, say things to each other that Jared and Jensen could never say. And yet there they were, speaking the words to each other anyway. Feeling them.
At their first break in filming, Jared followed Jensen to the craft service table, feeling an overwhelming need to talk to him. About something. He wasn’t quite sure what.
He reached across to grab the only remaining fruit bar from the basket, beating Jensen to it and giving a triumphant “Mine” to announce it. Lame way to start a conversation, but it fit with the prevailing guy rules.
Jensen shot him a look that spoke volumes. Disgusted. Amused. “Asshole.”
Jared broke it in half and offered one to his costar. “Dude, I was gonna share. Truce?”
He had to endure another long moment of Jensen’s piercing stare, wondering if Jensen was in a forgiving mood. “I should say no, really. I don’t want you to think I’m that easy.”
Jared smiled. “But I like thinking of you as easy,” he returned, a hint of flirtation creeping back into his voice now that Jensen wasn’t angry.
“I bet you do.” They were both grinning now. “But we both know who the slut is around here.”
“What?” Jared laughed out loud at the clear invitation to grapple. He grabbed the shorter man around the chest with one hand, pulling him backwards and up against him. “Take it back, jerk,” he teased. Jensen reached up with one hand to grab the arm now around his shoulders, and it struck Jared instantly that it was the same gesture that Dean had made when Sam had been torturing him, one hand on his arm to stop him. Or not. The sudden parallel gave him a shock of excitement that he wasn’t at all prepared for, and Jensen slipped easily from his grasp.
“Oh, you’re losin’ your touch,” Jensen smirked. “Who’s the big strong man now?” And to accentuate it, Jensen gave him a friendly punch on the arm.
Without missing a beat, Jared went after him again, catching him off guard and pulling him right back into the same near-headlock. Both their half-eaten fruit bars fell to the floor as Jensen grabbed for his costar’s arm with both hands this time to break his grasp. He was strong, but Jared had the advantage of being both taller and more determined, and he held Jensen tightly, not wanting to let go. “That would be me,” he half whispered against Jensen’s neck, “I’m the big strong man. And don’t you forget it.”
Jensen was frustratingly hard to piss off. He let himself go limp against Jared’s chest, leaning back into the hold, letting his head rest against Jared’s shoulder. “Oooh,” he said sarcastically. Jared relaxed his grip, smiling, still holding Jensen loosely against him. “Damn you,” he said into Jensen’s shoulder. “I’m tryin’ to be all serious here.”
“Why?”
Jared realized it was a serious question. One he wished he could answer. Jensen was still pressed against him, Jared’s arm holding them together. He could feel the warmth of the other man’s back, firm and muscled, resting easily against his chest. He knew Jensen was waiting for him to say something.
“I’m kinda freaked out that I hit you,” he managed finally. “I thought Angelina was gonna kill me for bruising that beautiful perfect face of yours.”
Jensen pulled away and turned to face him, his expression once again serious. Or something else, Jared couldn’t quite decipher just what. Touched? Skeptical? “Damn. Hurting me really got to you, didn’t it?”
This was a little too close to the truth. Jared struggled to decide whether to blow it off with a joke or admit it, whatever the hell “it” was. But Jensen looked like he really wanted to know. “Yeah, it did. You’re such a good actor, it just really seemed …” Jared trailed off, not sure what else to say.
“So are you. That was …”
“Intense. It was fucking intense,” Jared interrupted.
Jensen was giving him that knowing half-smile now. “Yeah, it was,” he said softly, raising his dark-lashed eyes in that flirtatious way he had, when he suspected someone was wanting him. Jared recognized it instantly, feeling himself color with a rush of embarrassment as Jensen went on. “I had the feeling you were really enjoying givin’ it to me.”
Jared wished he still had his costar in the headlock that would keep him out of that piercing gaze. “That was the demon you were sensing,” he returned, only half kidding.
“Well, that demon was really getting off on fucking with me.”
That left Jared speechless for a minute, something that didn’t happen all that often. Jensen clearly had sensed more than Jared had thought he did. Not that he should have been surprised about that. In the moment, he had known the feelings which were overwhelming him were shared. He just hadn’t expected Jensen to admit it. They stared at each other, wondering how far to take this conversation.
“And maybe you were getting off on knowing that,” Jared finally answered, though it made his stomach feel sort of queasy to say it out loud.
Jensen reached down to retrieve the half-eaten fruit bar from the floor, breaking eye contact. He shrugged, looked up at Jared again. “Maybe,” he said.
Chapter 3
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2007-05-02 11:46 am (UTC)Really looking forward to reading more of this.
*hugs*
no subject
Date: 2007-05-02 09:58 pm (UTC)More to come (there are 18 chapters of this written so far...) -- and hopefully we'll figure out how to get this and our other stuff onto some communities too! (Actually Kat is doing the figuring, she's SO much better at this posting stuff than I am)
You're the first person to give me feedback for anything I've written in this fandom, so this is just all special for me. And it means alot coming from a fabulous writer like you. *Huggggggggs*
Lynsey
no subject
Date: 2007-05-04 07:46 am (UTC)Running to 3
Awkwardness abounds
Date: 2007-05-31 03:41 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-08-18 01:42 am (UTC)And this, oh my I just melted!
Who loves like that? He had the feeling that Jensen would knock over mountains for him if it came to that, every bit as much as Dean would for Sammy. Jensen was that convincing.
Most go and read more!
no subject
Date: 2017-03-29 09:50 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2017-03-31 02:50 am (UTC)