Fade To Black (Not While Your Hand’s In Mine) Ch 7/18

[runedgirl]

Title: Fade To Black (Not While Your Hand’s In Mine) Ch 7/18
Author: runedgirl
Rating: NC17 for sexual content and violence
Pairing: Sam/Dean, Sam/demon!Dean
Summary: The brother that Sam gets back isn’t the same, but Sam’s love is. Sam risks everything and leaves everyone he’s ever cared about behind in the desperate hope that the bond between him and Dean might just be strong enough to transcend what hell did to his brother.
Set post Season 3, seven months after Dean’s deal came due and written over the summer before it was AU, this story just kept writing itself and wouldn’t let go until it was an epic love story in every sense, eventually spanning five decades with enough twists and turns to make me dizzy.
Warning: Spoilers for S3 finale; violence; Wincest (obviously)
Beta: Big thanks to K for caring enough to make awesome suggestions *hugs*
AN: Not a WIP – story is finished with 18 chapters and will be posted regularly. Feedback is adored and promptly savored. Please let me know what you think?

This is a dark chapter, but I promise, things get better. Lots. Honest.



Chapter Seven

Sam tries to get him to talk every day, even though they both dread it. Even though it feels like his heart is being dragged through the meat grinder every single time Sam learns something new about Dean’s time in hell, about what they did to him when his eyes were still green and he was still Sam’s brother. It’s the last thing Sam ever wanted to know, and the demon seems to know that too, still fights to avoid it or distract Sam away from his questions in an odd mix of protectiveness and self-preservation.

Most of the time when they go out, the demon still manages to get them into some kind of trouble, but he doesn’t actually assault anyone again. He can do more than Sam realized without using his hands, can exert enough influence to make a fair amount of mischief, though Sam has never felt the pull of the demon’s mind against his own. Either he hasn’t tried, or Sam’s own mental abilities are too strong and it doesn’t work. Other people aren’t so lucky, especially when the demon’s having one of his ‘I’m a demon, I’m supposed to be an asshole’ days. He makes a truck driver with a ‘Make My Day’ license plate on the back of his big rig trip over his own feet as he saunters across the parking lot of the truck stop, the demon giggling into his hand like a little girl as the guy repeatedly tries to stand up only to fall again. He crashes an entire shelf full of condoms and lubes and sanitary products onto the unsuspecting head of a middle aged man who was already blushing and looking around guiltily before the attention of every single person in the store came down on him along with an array of slender regulars. A woman who smacks her kid in the parking lot when she thinks nobody’s looking ends up with a broken hand when the automatic side door of her minivan mysteriously closes on her, and that’s enough to make Sam yell and threaten and yank the demon into the Impala with enough force to make him curse, but the demon doesn’t do more damage than that.

Sam still carries the holy water spray with him everywhere they go, pulls it out sometimes as a reminder, like a lion tamer showing the whip until the big cat who could take him down in an instant slinks away. The demon’s likely to growl and bare his teeth, and they both know that he could kill Sam in his sleep whenever he wanted, but most of the time he backs off when Sam pushes.

Parking lots and Walmarts and diners are dangerous, but bars, Sam finally realizes, are impossibilities. After the fifteenth brawl, Sam swears off them forever, because there’s just no fucking way the demon is ever gonna be able to resist the lure of free pool tables and sweaty, arrogant, stupid men. His lips quirk up in a smirk the moment he sees them, and Sam can almost feel his pulse quicken as he scents easy prey.

The fifteenth brawl happens in Oklahoma on a Saturday night. They’ve been at each other’s throats for days, and Sam needs a drink – and people, just people – badly. Sam has to hurry to keep up as he follows the demon inside. He’s most demonic like this, Sam thinks as he watches the demon saunter over, pure evil in his smile and clear in his intent. Now that Sam sees it for what it is, the rage that’s just beneath the pretty packaging is so obvious, bubbling up in clenched fists and set jaw, the demon’s whole body tight and tense and ready. Sam can almost taste the adrenaline in that feral snarl-smile, in the demon’s palpable anticipation. Revenge, that’s what it looks like, and Sam realizes now that’s probably what it is. Nameless faceless strangers, men who used him in ways Sam still can barely allow himself to comprehend.

They haven’t touched – like that – since the night Sam jerked the demon off in desperation almost two months ago, and the demon’s increasingly restless, undercurrent of violence just below the surface edging nearer and nearer to busting through. They take turns dreaming things they push from consciousness during the day, the demon waking up whimpering no and Sam waking up whimpering yes, both with the other’s name on his lips, and Sam knows he should have realized they were headed for disaster.

“Back off,” Sam says almost under his breath as they walk into the bar, curls a big hand around the demon’s bicep and stops him just as the men lounging around the pool tables look up. The demon struggles away from his grasp, shoves Sam roughly and steps forward, and fuck if he doesn’t look just like a tiger on a hunt, single minded and undeterred, needing to attack. It’s disturbingly hot.

“Lovers’ quarrel?” one of the men asks with a raised eyebrow, and they all laugh, and Sam has a moment of wanting to let the demon just take him down for being so goddamned stupid and making Sam’s life even more difficult.

The demon moves fast, feline grace and strong muscles and no care at all for what might happen anyway, and the combination always catches whoever he’s targeted off guard. This time he only strikes with his fists, but the blood flies in all directions as the guy’s nose smashes to the side and he collapses, and there’s a collective gasp as the demon moves to finish it.

Sam’s on him before he can bring the heel of his boot down to ruin what’s left of the guy’s face, gets off a good stream of holy water and knocks him to the side as they both fall to the floor. The demon goes down hard, weakened by the holy water he hasn’t felt in months, and Sam gets hold of both of the demon’s arms from behind. It’s just enough time to bring the rest of the man’s buddies to life, rage twisting their faces into something equally demonic as Sam looks up to a barrage of boots and pool cues. The demon’s body shields Sam from most of the kicks, but he still catches the steel tip of a boot to his shin and a few bone-crunching hits to his fingers where he’s holding the demon back from retaliating, and Jesus if he can’t hold on Sam’s terrified there are gonna be a dozen murders on his shoulders tonight. The demon fights to break Sam’s grip on him as the kicks and shouts and curses rain down but Sam keeps him pinned tight, afraid that if he lets him up, the demon’s gonna make this place into a bloodbath. Sam can feel the demon’s taut body jerk hard with every impact, breath knocked out of him with a grunt again and again.

Sam doesn’t know how long it goes on, only that he has to hold on, can’t let go, doesn’t have a choice. The guy with the broken nose eventually lands the last blows, a vicious kick to the demon’s stomach and then to his face. Sam can’t see the damage from where he is, but he hears the sickening squish of cartilage and bone breaking, maybe not for the first time. The demon doesn’t make a sound, but Sam can tell he’s still conscious, can feel his body’s instinctive reaction.

“Teach you, fucking bastard,” the guy says, spits on them both, leaving splatters of saliva and blood on Sam’s arms along with the cuts and bruises already there. Then he walks away and the room is silent, the only sound the harsh rasp of the demon’s choked breaths, and Sam can hear the fluid rattle in his lungs where a rib has probably pierced one. Sam lets go, gets up shakily and looks around, watching heads turn away like they’re not even there, like nobody saw a goddamned thing. The demon doesn’t move, and if his body hadn’t already died, Sam would be scared as hell that they’d killed him. Maybe that’s what the other people in the bar are thinking too. They kicked him in the head so many times he’s almost unrecognizable as Sam’s brother, Dean’s beautiful face battered into something different, something horrible. There’s so much blood, his throat is slicked red with it, his tee shirt soaked down the front. At least two of his fingers are broken, and his right shoulder is probably dislocated. Jesus.

Sam bends down and reaches out, stops not knowing where it’s safe to touch. “Hey,” he says softly, “Can you hear me?”

The demon twitches, keeps his eyes closed. When he opens his mouth, his front teeth are broken.

“Look, we gotta get out of here, I’m gonna have to get you up, okay?” Sam tells him.

No answer, and the other people in the bar are restless, watching, so Sam takes him by both shoulders and hauls him to his feet, the demon hissing in pain and falling against him.

“I’m sorry,” he whispers, wrapping an arm around the demon’s waist and moving them both to the door as quickly as he can.

“That’s what you always say,” the demon slurs.

* * *

Sam strips him, hauls him into the tub and watches as the water turns pinker with every swipe of the washcloth. The demon never opens his eyes, lets Sam run warm water over his broken nose and bloodied mouth, sponge down his bruised and battered body. For some reason, the sight of him like this, submissive and quiet, is worse than when he’s brash and bitchy and fighting, and Sam feels his throat ache with holding back the tears. The guilt of having held him down makes Sam feel like an accomplice in the beating, even though he knows the demon started it, knows he did the right thing. But it makes every laceration feel like Sam’s fault, Sam’s doing.

“Why did you have to fucking do that?” he asks, and he can hear the sob in his own voice, knows the demon can hear it too.

“It’s just how things are, Sam. Can’t change it.”

The demon sinks back into the water, wet hair plastered to his forehead and sticking to his temples, and god but Sam wants to change it. Wants to believe he can, but hopelessness is becoming a constant clenching in his chest, twining around his heart so he can’t push it away anymore. He feels like a fool, for thinking that the little bit of conversation they’ve had about hell is changing anything, for expecting the demon to share anything real enough to make a difference.

“Jesus,” he says, sinking to the floor beside the tub and putting his face in his hands. “Can’t you even try?”

The demon doesn’t answer, and the water’s cold before Sam hauls him out and onto the bed, leaves him lying there naked and wet and broken as Sam burrows under the covers and tries to lose himself to sleep. If the demon doesn’t give a shit, why should he?

When he wakes up the next morning, the first thing Sam feels are the dull ache of his bruises. Fuck. He groans out loud as he turns over, body stiff and feeling old, curses to himself as he sits up. God, does he ever need coffee. And a hot shower.

“That’s what it was like,” the demon says from right next to him.

“Jesusfuck,” Sam starts, startled by the out-of-nowhere conversation. “You scared the shit outta me.”

“Sorry.” The demon looks like Dean again, two black eyes and lips still swollen, but his nose is healed and his teeth are straight and white as ever.

“Wait, what? What’d you say?”

“That’s what it was like, a lot of the time,” the demon repeats.

Sam leans back against the headboard, mirroring the demon’s posture, and wonders if he can possibly do this without caffeine or washing. “Tell me more,” he says quietly, like if he speaks too loudly or says too much, the demon will shy away from talking.

“There’d be a lot of ‘em, sometimes a dozen or more, usually strangers. I could tell what kinda boots they had on after a while, by the feel of the impact when it broke a bone or burst a kidney. Steel toed work boots, leather dockers, pointed cowboy boots, those I could always tell. Every now and then, maybe when they wanted more humiliation – though who gives a fuck really, a busted spleen is a busted spleen, right, but those fuckers, maybe it was more fun for them – then it’d be girls, fancy stiletto heels that can take out an eye and not damage anything else around it, how weird is that? Can leave a puncture wound in your belly they’re so sharp. A whole different kinda kick.”

Sam chokes, bile rushing fast and tasting bitter in his mouth, waves a hand to say go on because he doesn’t trust his voice to work.

“I didn’t understand for the longest time that passing out wasn’t an option, kept thinking if I caught a blow to the head it’d take me out, make it stop. How much did that make ‘em laugh, d’ya think? Watchin’ me duck my head right into the kicks like an asshole.” The demon actually laughs, bitter sick snort that makes Sam’s stomach turn and the acid rise again in his throat. “Nothing made any difference. It went on til they lost interest, sometimes hours, sometimes days, sometimes it was impossible to say.” He shrugs, cracks his neck and shifts on the bed.

“I’m sorry,” Sam manages, almost gags when he opens his mouth to speak.

“Don’t be,” the demon answers, black eyes fixed on Sam’s. “I know what it’s like to be on both sides. To be kicked til you’re dead and then kicked some more, and to feel the crunch of someone else’s ribs break under my boot, hear the sound of their screams turn to pathetic gurgles as they drown in their own blood beneath me. So don’t be sorry, Sam.”

Awareness hits Sam gradually, creeping in slowly as he waits for his roiling stomach to settle. “You feel bad about it,” he says finally. “About what you did.”

“The hell I do,” the demon answers instantly, glaring back. “I would’ve smashed a whole village full of fuckin’ kids to death to make it stop. Would’ve killed anything -- anything. Don’t forget it Sam, don’t think I wasn’t every bit as much a fucker as all those guys, that I didn’t turn around and do the same fuckin’ thing.”

“They have kids in hell?”

“What?” The demon’s really glaring now, looking like he’d like to smash Sam at that very moment. “No, but – if they did –

“Look, okay, I hear you. You’re a mean motherfucker, you’ve tortured and killed and done horrible things in hell, I get it.”

“Damn straight.”

Sam’s quiet for a while, trying to decide how to say this. “You understand that this is what they do, right? That forcing you to the point where you’ll do anything, give up everything you held as right and wrong, anything you cared about – that’s all part of it. That’s how they turn you into – well, into this.”

“A demon? Christ, you can’t even say it. Pussy.” The demon rolls his eyes, but he’s listening, Sam can tell.

“I can say it. A demon. How they turn you into a demon. And you know what?” Sam’s voice is challenging now, and the demon senses it, bristles and cocks his head warily.

“What?” he asks tentatively, teeth already half bared defensively.

“You’re playing right into their fucking hands.”

The demon opens his mouth for a retort, then snaps it closed and just glares instead. “What?”

“That’s what they want, dumbass.”

“Hey,” the demon starts to protest, but Sam pushes on, he’s on a roll now even without his morning caffeine, and has no intention of stopping.

“They must be down there laughing their asses off at you, how well you’re falling into line up here, making life miserable for humanity just like they want you to. Hell’s good little soldier.” Sam shakes his head like it’s the biggest tragedy ever, and the demon the biggest fool. “God, it’s pathetic – always somebody’s good little soldier, aren’t you?”

The demon sputters, shoves at Sam’s shoulder. “Shut up,” he says lamely.

Sam laughs, knows he got the upper hand, and some of the sickness in his stomach abruptly disappears, replaced by genuine honest-to-god hunger. “You know I’m right,” he insists, doesn’t even have to force the smile. “C’mon, let’s get some coffee. And some bacon and eggs, I’m fucking starving.”

The demon perks up at that, though he’s still hanging onto a scowl every time Sam catches his eye.

Later, as they shovel down Special No. 4 without talking, Sam remembers something. “What did you mean last night, when I told you that I was sorry?”

The demon looks up warily. “Huh?”

“You said that’s what I always say. What’d you mean?” Sam can see that he doesn’t want to answer, but Sam’s gone far beyond allowing that. He waits, holding the demon’s black eyes.

The demon sighs wearily, takes another gulp of hot black diner coffee. “Most of the time, when it was over, they’d just walk away. But not when it was you. When it was you, they’d always let you stay, once everything was broken and there was too much blood in my eyes for me to see you anymore. They’d let you kneel down and hold me, and I wouldn’t care even when it was agony, even when all my bones beneath your hands were splintered and shattering with your touch, I wouldn’t try to pull away. And then they’d make you say it, over and over like your heart was breaking, and that would be the worst thing of all. So much worse than what your fists or your boots could do to me. ‘Sorry’, you’d say, over and over. ‘Dean, I’m so sorry.’

Chapter Eight

Comments

[runedgirl.livejournal.com]

Sorry?? No, not really, I'm lying. But next chapter takes a big unexpected twist, so hang in there. This needed to get bad before it could get somewhere else, if that makes any sense. Much like life unfortunately does sometimes.
Hugs,
Lyns

[the_milky_way]

Oh God, this is just killing me.

Dean!
I just can imagine what Sam feels like after that last paragraph.

Meeep.

[runedgirl.livejournal.com]

Love your icon :) I know, poor Sam, poor Dean, poor boys! But next takes a significant turn, so hope you'll hang in there and keep reading-
Hugs,
Lynsey

[nachekana.livejournal.com]

Wow, this scene in the bar was hard to read! But I loved the fact that it led to Dean telling Sam about what happened in Hell. And I hope that Sam's words are going to make an impression on Dean.

So they could use a fake Sam in Hell? That's a scary thought. This holds so much potential for breaking Dean!

Great update as always!

[runedgirl.livejournal.com]

Thank you so much for reading and commenting, I so appreciate it! And your hope isn't misplaced -- tho this was a tough chapter, it had to be shared before anything could change. Big twists and turns next chapter, promise :)
Hugs,
Lynsey

[auroramama]

WHOA.

Just amazingly good.

[runedgirl.livejournal.com]

Hey! I love hearing from people I got to meet at Wincon :) So glad you're liking it, and thanks so much for letting me know!
Hugs,
Lynsey

[elusive-life-77.livejournal.com]

that last bit just blew the rest of it out of my mind...holy hell! Oh gods when Sam thinks that through and hears the implication that someone that was wearing his face brutalized Dean in hell...oh this ain't gonna be pretty.

This story is absolutely incredible. I actually bounce in my seat a bit when I see a new post! Keep 'em comin!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[runedgirl.livejournal.com]

Wheeeeeeeee, you just made my day saying that! Thank you so much for your feedback, it means so much. And yes, I know this isn't at all pretty. Ouch. But next chapter brings some interesting changes -- let me know what you think?
Hugs,
Lynsey

[runedgirl.livejournal.com]

Like I said, your last comment was prescient -- because yes, ouch. Oh, boys. Next chapter takes a significant twist, and I'm really looking forward to hearing what you think :)
Hugs,
Lynsey

[luminosity]

I wait with bated breath for updates to this story. Tagged, email reminders, browsing your LJ just in case. I'm so glad you noted that the story's finished, and you're just parceling it out like too-rich candy--well, I'm not glad about that part, but if it had been in-progress, I probably wouldn't have even looked at it. I've been burned before, you know. :)

Anyway, I love it. Hurry up! :)

ETA: and God, that sounded so stupid, but my intentions are pure gold! [crawls away into deep hole]

[runedgirl.livejournal.com]

LOL, it didn't sound stupid to me, probably because I was so pleased to hear it. :) It was just too long to post in one giant bigbang-like chunk, but I promise to post regularly every week. Next chapter takes an unexpected twist - let me know what you think?
Hugs,
Lynsey

[lima-sierra.livejournal.com]

*gulps*

Oh god. The heartbreak went up a notch in this chapter. Awesome story!

[runedgirl.livejournal.com]

I know, sorry! (lies) Next chapter has a twist in a different direction tho, so let me know what you think? Thanks so much for the feedback -
Hugs,
Lynsey

[apieceofcake.livejournal.com]

Jesus..that last bit especially *meep*

[runedgirl.livejournal.com]

I know, ouch! So sorry (okay, not really...things had to get pretty painful here for them to then get better). Next chapter takes a significant twist tho, so hope you'll keep reading and let me know what you think :)
Hugs,
Lynsey

[kaia-blue.livejournal.com]

poor poor Dean! Great chapter, sad, but great. I'm looking forward to see where do you go from here :)

[runedgirl.livejournal.com]

Very glad you're looking forward to it and sticking with it, thank you so much! Next chapter goes in an unexpected direction, so let me know what you think? Thanks again -
Hugs,
Lynsey

[ramona4jake.livejournal.com]

You're killing me here ! Sweet Dean, what he had to stand there, hurt over and over again, and to top it - Sam ??!!! But maybe it's a good thing he's talking... although it's heartbreaking !
Thank you so much, love it !

[runedgirl.livejournal.com]

Exactly, just what you said - so painful, but I think he does have to talk about it, or it remains in control in a sense. Thanks so much for your feedback -- next chapter takes an interesting turn, so hope you'll keep reading.
Hugs,
Lynsey

[nightporters.livejournal.com]

Want to hide now. This is so painful.

[runedgirl.livejournal.com]

*hugs* So sorry! I promise things take a probably unexpected twist next chapter, and that the pain was necessary to start getting beyond it (as is so often the case in life...) Hope you'll hang in there and keep reading, and let me know when I've not left you wanting to hide! Ack!
More hugs,
Lynsey

[serendip50.livejournal.com]

Wow, that was some beating D/Dean took, and with Sam holding him down. It must have felt like being in hell all over again. How symbolic.

Oh poor Dean, I'm so sorry too.

[runedgirl.livejournal.com]

Thanks for getting it -- yes, exactly, like being in hell all over again. Next chapter won't be so 'hellish' tho, with some different twists and turns. Hope you'll keep reading!
Hugs,
Lynsey

[tabularassa.livejournal.com]

Wow, you are killing me here, but I know the payoff is going to be worth it. So much love for this story. ♥

Oh God, Dean.

[runedgirl.livejournal.com]

Heyyyyyyyyyy!!! I'm so thrilled that you're reading and leaving me comments! I do promise that things get better, cuz you know I'm an absolute believer in the boys' true love. Thanks so much for the feedback, bb!
*smishes*
Lyns

[growyourwings.livejournal.com]

Wow. Just wow. This was hard to read. Very good--but hard to read. I found myself wondering if it was hard to write as well. I mean I can be very influenced by stories I read. The atmosphere, the mood of the characters. I'm not a writer--more of a visual person myself--but I would think that writing something dark might have even a bigger impact than reading something dark.

I don't know. Does that make sense? I'm coming off of a great, but very intense, week. So I'm tired and may not be making any sense whatsoever.

I like reading stories that are different. Ones that don't follow a variation on the same themes I've seen before. this is one of those stories.

I'm enjoying this a lot.

Looking forward to seeing you in Chicago.

[runedgirl.livejournal.com]

Makes perfect sense, and yes, very hard to write - sucked me in and wouldn't let go, wouldn't let me gloss over the painful parts to get to the sentimental schmoopy parts. (Yes, believe it or not, we'll get there...) I'm thrilled that you called this different - in such a talented prolific fandom, I take that as a lovely compliment :)

Can't wait to see you again in Chicago!
Lyns

[thanatoseve.livejournal.com]

...

[runedgirl.livejournal.com]

I hope that wasn't the sound of you running away! Things take a different twist next chapter, hope you'll keep reading. :)
Hugs,
Lynsey

[gunznammo2.livejournal.com]

My dear, you are breaking my heart. Seeing Sam and Dean enduring this Hell beyond the Hell Dean had to endure for Sam, with so much hurt and pain and anguish, has me in tears. You have made Sam and Dean so real to me that I am swept away by their struggle to reconnect. You have a wonderful gift for storytelling and I anxiously await the remaining chapters. Such sweet sorrow.

[runedgirl.livejournal.com]

Thank you so much, that's a lovely compliment. And that's exactly what this story is, yes -- Sam and Dean's struggle to reconnect. Hope you'll let me know what you think of the next chapter, when things take an unexpected turn. :)
Hugs,
Lynsey

[cellshader.livejournal.com]

UPDATE!!! and WOW.
This was such a nice little chapter--a momentary break from all the descriptions of hell, and then you just dive right back in, and that's just impressive pacing. That last bit is just wonderful, all the descriptions of broken bones and Sam really gave me the actual image in my head and it was heartbreaking, and I love that you have the demon fighting for his evil side with snarky comebacks while Sam comes up with the brilliant logical arguments. Its very them.

Nother great chapter...update soon, yes? :D

[runedgirl.livejournal.com]

Thank you for the thoughtful feedback, I really appreciate it. I'm thrilled that the imagery came through vividly, heartbreaking tho it was meant to be, and that the boys remain in character even though the circumstances are far from canon. Thanks again!
Hugs,
Lynsey

[fannishliss.livejournal.com]

I really liked in this chapter, how Sam refuses not to hold Dean accountable. It's so very horrible when he has to hold the Demon down for the beating, but he doesn't have a better option -- and he accepts his own culpability for that. I can see how this will work as a turning point for them: the Demon can experience not just the fake Sam in hell, beating him and then suffering for it, all still as part of Dean's torture, but real Sam in real life, holding the Demon down because he has to, and really meaning it when he apologizes -- not just restarting the cycle but actually delving deeper into the problem. The Hell mentality of torture and repetition has time on its side, but there is really something still inside the Demon that loves Sam, that Sam can reach out to and reason with --that doesn't kill him in his sleep and still craved that agonizing cycle in Hell. I see more of a connection between Demon and Dean here -- I wonder how many times Dean had to kick Sammy to death -- how many different incarnations of Sammy -- before he was Demon enough to escape Hell.... very sad -- but ending on a moment of hopeful realization. Yay story!

[runedgirl.livejournal.com]

Wheeeee, thank you! Thank you for getting so much out of this chapter that's only implied but that is most definitely there, like the mirroring of what happened in hell and the need to 'break the cycle' -- why Sam's genuine apology and genuine caring are so healing ultimately for the Demon and for Dean underneath. And for picking up on the connection that's slowly but surely being forged (re-forged?) between the boys. And yes, as you anticipated - big twist next chapter, hope you'll keep letting me know what you think!
Hugs,
Lyns

[runedgirl.livejournal.com]

So sorry! (Not...) Glad you added that it's a good killed. :) Next chapter brings a turn in a different direction, so perhaps you'll survive that one more easily. LOL. Let me know!
Hugs,
Lynsey

[runedgirl.livejournal.com]

Kudos from your renegade LJ wifey:))) You *know* I'm loving it, right???

[runedgirl.livejournal.com]

You are so silly -- now it looks like I'm talking to myself. LOL. *loves*

[rejeneration.livejournal.com]

Need more, honey! Dying for more! =D

[runedgirl.livejournal.com]

You know I'm thrilled with your encouragement, right?? *loves* More on the weekend -- the next chapter takes a bit of a twist in a different direction. Let me know what you think?
Hugs,
Lynsey

[sam-dean-lover.livejournal.com]

amzing

[runedgirl.livejournal.com]

Thank you! And thanks so much for letting me know you liked it too :)
Hugs,
Lyns

[candygramme.livejournal.com]

Oh, jeez, Lyns, this is so painful to read. I,m glad that demons have some recuperative powers, because the thought of Dean with broken teeth is like the thought of painting graffiti over the Mona Lisa. I hope that Sam can help stop Dean from recreating hell for himself, and that the two of them can move on. As ever, it's an amazing story, and YOU ARE POSTING TOO SLOWLY.

Just so you know.

;)

[runedgirl.livejournal.com]

Hey you, I totally agree -- have to get Dean back to looking exactly like his gorgeous self no matter what. :) Thanks for the lovely feedback -- and next chapter will be posted TODAY, promise! LOL. Next weekend you can nudge me to post two from Chicago. :) :)

Can't wait to see you!
Lyns

[shelgrainger2.livejournal.com]

My heart breaks for Dean. I understand why Sam held him but he allowed his "brother" to get smacked to a pulp. I feel for Sammy too. Things are so tough for them. Off for more

[runedgirl.livejournal.com]

*hugs you* Believe it or not, things do get better. Hope you'll keep reading!
Lyns