runedgirl: (Default)
[personal profile] runedgirl
Title:Five Things Sam Wishes Dean Knew and One Thing He’s Glad He Doesn’t
Pairing: Sam/Dean
Rating: (Surprisingly!) PG-13 for implied Wincest
Warning: It will make you cry.
Spoilers: Takes place after AHBL.
Disclaimer: You know the drill. Not mine, just using for fun, not profit.



Five Things Sam Wishes Dean Knew and One Thing He’s Glad He Doesn’t

Sam watches Dean sleep in the predawn light. His brother is most beautiful when he’s unconscious. Or coming. Any moment when he’s allowed himself to let himself go, when he’s no longer putting up a front. Sam thinks back, pulling memories and half formed desires up from the grey morning of his heart.

Dean doesn’t know that the first time Sam came, he wasn’t thinking of the little girl who sat next to him in Social Studies class. He was thinking of Dean. He was twelve.

Dean doesn’t know that when he arches his back against Sam’s touch Sam sometimes wants to cry.

Dean doesn’t know that Sam once stole the Impala and took it for a joyride. He was fourteen.

Dean doesn’t know that he’s not Sam’s “brother” or “lover”. He’s his Dean. And that’s everything. Labels become unnecessary just like everyone and everything else is unnecessary as long as he’s got Dean.

Dean doesn’t know, really know, that Sam would do anything for him. Sam knows Dean won’t let himself believe that one. The implications are too shattering. And Dean doesn’t think he’s worth that kind of love. He is.

And then there’s the thing that Sam is glad Dean doesn’t know. That Sam has figured out a way, the only way, to save his brother from the demon that will be coming around to claim his soul in just a few short days.

Sam sits in the predawn light watching Dean sleep, watching the grey of the gun in his hands finally resolving itself into a separate grey from the light in the room.


Three Things Dean Knows And One Thing He Doesn’t

Dean knows that Sam came for the first time thinking of him because the stupid little kid said his name right before he let out the little whimper that let Dean know what was going on in the other bed. He got up afterwards and jerked off in the bathroom trying not to think of anyone. It didn’t work.

Dean knows about Sam and the Impala. He let his kid brother think that he had gotten away with something. What Sam didn’t know is that Dean was shadowing him in Dad’s pick-up, just to make sure he didn’t kill himself. Or the Impala.

And Dean knows that Sam has figured it out. Dean knows what’s coming. Because Dean also knows that Sam will do anything for him. He gets that. So when Sam’s lips brush against his and he hears the gun cock near his ear, he smiles.

Dean doesn’t know there are two bullets in Sam’s gun.

Date: 2007-06-19 05:27 pm (UTC)
From: (Anonymous)
Incredible ending! Depressing as all hell granted. But what I love about this is that you get it, really get what this deal is about. All these other stories that act as if it's just Dean's life at stake are getting to me. It's like they are purposely rewriting the deal so they can angst the way they want too. Sam will do anything he can to save Dean's life during the year but if it ends without a solution (hypothetically), it isn't about tearful farewells and it was all worth it and going on with life. Dean's soul will be in hell and honestly if it gets down to a few days that becomes more important. Only thing I'm not sure about here is if with Dean dying first if he would still go to hell, he would be free if Sam died first though- a story which I haven't even seen but is a pretty obvious way out. Honestly people, soul in hell for eternity, kinda important.

Date: 2007-06-19 10:37 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] runedgirl.livejournal.com
Wow! Can I just say that I *love* feedback like this! I'm so appreciative when someone takes the time go a bit further. And yes, I completely agree - both their lives are at stake. If one goes, one way or another they are both going. I was thinking that if Dean is murdered by Sammy then the deal with the demon would be null, but it can work the other way. If Sam dies before the year is up then that might also break the deal. I can't see too many pretty endings to this one though.

Thanks again,
Kat

Profile

runedgirl: (Default)
runedgirl

January 2022

S M T W T F S
      1
2345678
9101112131415
161718192021 22
23242526272829
3031     

Most Popular Tags

Page Summary

Style Credit

Expand Cut Tags

No cut tags
Page generated Jun. 27th, 2025 12:35 am
Powered by Dreamwidth Studios