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runedgirlTitle:Moving On
Pairing:Jared/Jensen
Rating:PG-13ish or a lame R. (Really, I don’t know what’s gotten into me! I promise the next one will be pure porn!)
Warnings:It might be cute.
Disclaimers: It’s fiction folks!! Any similarity between this Jared and Jensen and the real actors is intentionally coincidental.
Note: This was written for L and she knows exactly why.
It was all Jensen’s fault. He was the one who started it. At one of those events - Jared couldn’t even remember which one now, they all blended together - Jared had gone up behind Jensen and grabbed him, spun him around and given him a great big hug. He was just so happy to see him. It was Jensen who laughed that easy laugh, leaned in and whispered quickly in his ear, “You should just kiss me and give them a real show.”
Jared had laughed too. “Yeah, I should.”
Then they had both laughed and gone on with the business of the business, talking to the cameras and the microphones, joking around with one another, occasionally patting a shoulder, a back, a chest. They were friends after all and that’s what friends did.
Or maybe it was his fault for not just doing it, right then and there. Following the joke out to its logical conclusion. Because then it would have been over and done with. Instead, it became this “thing” they did. Inevitably one or the other of them would say it when they were in public together, the other would agree it would be a great idea and then . . . nothing. Because, after all, it was a joke.
By the time they got to the Paley Festival at the end of the first season it was already a well established bit of business between them. When Jared leaned in for that kiss, after John had gone on about their “chemistry,” he was just continuing what Jensen had started.
Except.
Except, because they had kept joking about it, because they had never done it, Jared wondered. Probably more than he should have. But really, he defied anyone to blame him. If you talk about a thing long enough, you are going to start to think about that thing and they were always talking about kissing so Jared had started to think about actually kissing Jen. And it was freaking him out. What if he did? And (this was the part that freaked him out) what if he liked it? What if he wanted to do it again?
It was all Jensen’s fault.
Or maybe it was his. Because he was the one taking it further, at least in his head. He was the one who was now not only thinking about kissing Jen, but also about maybe running his hand up inside Jensen’s shirt and wondering how that would feel, and if he’d like it, and what he’d do if he did. And then he wondered if Jensen would punch his lights out for doing it. Or if he didn’t. What if he kissed Jensen, and liked it, and what if Jensen liked it back? Then what?
Then nothing. Because it wasn’t going to happen. It was just a joke. Wasn’t it?
Except it was becoming a joke when they weren’t in front of the cameras and the microphones now. And that was Jensen’s fault. Or maybe it wasn’t.
It could have all been just kidding around, same as the damn joke Jensen had made. After all, it wasn’t your classic moonlit, romantic moment. It was a Saturday afternoon, in Jensen’s kitchen. Jared had asked Jensen to grab him a beer out of the fridge.
“You’ll have to kiss me for it,” Jensen had said, grinning, and knocking Jared’s shoulder with his own.
Jared had responded in the only possible way. He pursed his lips, made that silly face he always made and said “C’mere big boy,” in his best imitation of what he imagined Mae West sounded like.
And Jensen had responded in the only possible way. He had laughed, grabbed the beer, shook it a bit, went “oooooooooooh” in a mock swoon. Just joking. But then Jensen made a slow, suggestive pass of his slightly clenched fist around the neck of the bottle, once, twice, three fucking times, and then popped the top off with his ring. The beer spurted all over Jared in imitation of - well, Jared knew exactly what it was in imitation of and he did the only possible thing he could do. He laughed uproariously.
And then he took his shirt off. Only because Jensen had gotten it covered with beer. And then Jensen stopped laughing and Jared knew, just knew, that something had changed, moved, flipped. He wasn’t about to think about it though, so he looked around, muttered something about Jensen being a jerk, left the kitchen, and went into Jensen’s bedroom to grab himself a tee shirt. Jensen told him he’d grab him another beer, and that was that.
Except it wasn’t, because Jared just couldn’t stop thinking about the way he’d felt in that split second between taking his shirt off and seeing the look in Jensen’s green eyes shift to something that Jared could only assume was discomfort. Because in that half naked split second Jared had wanted to lean in, not with his shoulder, but with his lips and he wanted Jen to put his hand -
Well, it really didn’t matter where Jared wanted Jensen’s hand, because it wasn’t going to happen and it was all just a joke.
*******************
It was all Jared’s fault. True, he was the one who first brought up, as a joke of course, kissing Jared for the benefit of press and fangirls alike. But it was Jared who had started long before that with the hands. The hands all over him, all the time. The hands on his shoulders, massaging the tension away, the hands, and arms, wrapped around him, pulling him into his protective embrace, the hands ruffling his hair. It may have been Jensen’s words, but it was Jared’s hands.
At least that’s what Jensen told himself.
But saying those words was like opening some sort of fucking Pandora’s box. He had been forced to watch those words take on a life of their own. Of course Jared had picked the joke up and run with it. Of course he puckered up for Jensen at the drop of a hat. And of course it was all just a joke.
Just a joke.
Except, having let the joke out, Jensen was beginning to regret it a bit, because it wasn’t seeming as funny lately. Sure he still laughed. How could he not laugh at the faces Jared pulled, the public come-ons? But he also wondered. How could he not? What if? Most of the time he stopped himself wondering before he had a chance to finish that thought. Because it wasn’t going to happen. Not on this planet. Planet Straight. And even if they both lived on Planet Let’s Experiment it would not be a good idea because how do you ever get back to Planet Straight once you’ve been to that other planet? You don’t. Do you?
Jensen was wondering if he hadn’t already left. He began wondering that the day he offered that beer up to Jared and had, just had to make that suggestive, teasing move with the bottle. Wanker. That’s what he was miming, but that’s what he was as well. Stupid wanker for doing that and for thinking what he was thinking when Jared took his shirt off, and for what he continued to think after Jared put on one of his, too small, too tight on him shirts to replace the one Jensen had gotten all wet. He tried to convince himself that he was checking Jared out because he admired Jared’s dedication to the gym and not because he was admiring Jared himself. But it was weak. Pathetically weak.
And that’s when the second guessing started. Had he been joking that first time he suggested they kiss? If the answer to that was yes, was he still joking now? What the hell would it be like to kiss a guy anyway? And couldn’t he just be curious without it meaning anything? And what did those muscles *feel* like anyway?
Yeah, it was all Jared’s fault.
***********************
It was all Jensen’s fault. Because if he hadn’t started everything with that suggestion of his, then Jared would never have started doing that pursy lipped thing he did (and he was doing it all the fucking time now - it was almost second nature, and again all Jensen’s fault), and Jensen would have never just hauled off and kissed him on set that day in full view of the entire crew who apparently thought it was the funniest thing they had ever seen.
Someone told him later it was something about the way he looked after Jensen did it. Shock maybe?
Yeah, shock. The kind of shock that you get from slipping your hand into an electrical outlet and finding out you fucking love the feeling of slipping your hand into an electrical outlet, no matter how stupid and dangerous it is to do that.
Funny thing was, Jensen wasn’t laughing either. It was his joke from the start, and he wasn’t laughing. Some joke.
*********************
What happened next was all Jared’s fault. Oh sure, he was the one who had kissed Jared in front of everyone - just a joke - and it was him standing there in Jared’s trailer, trying to explain. But it was still Jared’s fault.
“What the hell was that all about?” Jared said, when Jensen marched into his trailer after “the kiss”.
“Moving on.” Jensen said matter of factly.
“What?”
“Well, you know how we’re always joking about kissing - “
“Yeah,” Jared said, perhaps too quickly.
“I just thought if I did it . . . “ Jensen lowered his voice. “‘Cause I’ve been thinking about it and it sort of freaks me out.”
“Yeah. Me too. Both.” Jensen looked at him, not understanding. “Thinking. And freaking.”
Jensen nodded. “So I thought if I just did it, you know, we wouldn’t have to think about it anymore.”
“And?” Jared asked.
“And??” Jensen shot back.
“And???” Jared did not want to be the one to answer first.
“Didn’t work,” they wound up saying in unison.
“So, I was thinking, since we were wondering - you know.”
“Yeah, I know.”
“Maybe if we got that out of the way too - “
“Yeah!” Was that too enthusiastic? “ I mean, good idea.”
“Ok, so here goes.”
“Here goes.”
Except neither of them were going anywhere. They stood, rooted to the spots they stood in, staring at each other.
“Right. Closer?” Jensen finally suggested.
“Closer.” Jared agreed and each took a step forward which was really all they needed to be within kissing distance.
“This is weird man,” Jensen said.
“Tell me about it.”
“But look, if it’s this weird, then it will be even weirder when we do it, and then we’ll both probably just go ‘nah’ and that will be that.”
“You think?”
“Yeah, it’s like the build up to anything. It’s almost always better than the payoff.”
“Is that how you look at the world?” Jared asked.
“Sort of.”
Jared thought about that for a second or two. Didn’t seem right really. And, in a way, it presented something of a challenge to him. “Hummph.”
“What?”
“Nothing. Let’s just, you know, do this.”
“OK.”
“OK.”
And they both plunged forward. The first second or two was just like doing it in front of everyone else a few minutes before. Kinda strange, but also not unlike your standard stage kiss. They just happened to be kissing guys instead of girls, but the whole public thing made it not such a big deal really. The next few seconds were something different though. They both relaxed a bit, leaned in a bit, slowed down a bit. Yeah, that was way more like a real kiss. The kind of kiss you’d give someone you really liked and didn’t just work with or hang out with. And those last few seconds. Well that was an entirely different kind of kiss.
They both backed off at the same time.
“So.”
“We did it.”
“Yes we did.”
They were back to staring at each other. A little out of breath, but basically just staring.
“So.”
“Yeah . . . so.”
“We moving on now?”
“I think so.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah.”
Jensen would always maintain that it was all Jared’s fault. It was his fault for looking the way he looked and making that damn moaning noise in the back of his throat right before they broke apart.
Oh, they were moving on all right. To shirts, and belts and zippers, to nipples and cocks and “touch me pleases” and “fuck yeses” and it was all Jared’s fault. Or maybe it was his fault.
Pairing:Jared/Jensen
Rating:PG-13ish or a lame R. (Really, I don’t know what’s gotten into me! I promise the next one will be pure porn!)
Warnings:It might be cute.
Disclaimers: It’s fiction folks!! Any similarity between this Jared and Jensen and the real actors is intentionally coincidental.
Note: This was written for L and she knows exactly why.
It was all Jensen’s fault. He was the one who started it. At one of those events - Jared couldn’t even remember which one now, they all blended together - Jared had gone up behind Jensen and grabbed him, spun him around and given him a great big hug. He was just so happy to see him. It was Jensen who laughed that easy laugh, leaned in and whispered quickly in his ear, “You should just kiss me and give them a real show.”
Jared had laughed too. “Yeah, I should.”
Then they had both laughed and gone on with the business of the business, talking to the cameras and the microphones, joking around with one another, occasionally patting a shoulder, a back, a chest. They were friends after all and that’s what friends did.
Or maybe it was his fault for not just doing it, right then and there. Following the joke out to its logical conclusion. Because then it would have been over and done with. Instead, it became this “thing” they did. Inevitably one or the other of them would say it when they were in public together, the other would agree it would be a great idea and then . . . nothing. Because, after all, it was a joke.
By the time they got to the Paley Festival at the end of the first season it was already a well established bit of business between them. When Jared leaned in for that kiss, after John had gone on about their “chemistry,” he was just continuing what Jensen had started.
Except.
Except, because they had kept joking about it, because they had never done it, Jared wondered. Probably more than he should have. But really, he defied anyone to blame him. If you talk about a thing long enough, you are going to start to think about that thing and they were always talking about kissing so Jared had started to think about actually kissing Jen. And it was freaking him out. What if he did? And (this was the part that freaked him out) what if he liked it? What if he wanted to do it again?
It was all Jensen’s fault.
Or maybe it was his. Because he was the one taking it further, at least in his head. He was the one who was now not only thinking about kissing Jen, but also about maybe running his hand up inside Jensen’s shirt and wondering how that would feel, and if he’d like it, and what he’d do if he did. And then he wondered if Jensen would punch his lights out for doing it. Or if he didn’t. What if he kissed Jensen, and liked it, and what if Jensen liked it back? Then what?
Then nothing. Because it wasn’t going to happen. It was just a joke. Wasn’t it?
Except it was becoming a joke when they weren’t in front of the cameras and the microphones now. And that was Jensen’s fault. Or maybe it wasn’t.
It could have all been just kidding around, same as the damn joke Jensen had made. After all, it wasn’t your classic moonlit, romantic moment. It was a Saturday afternoon, in Jensen’s kitchen. Jared had asked Jensen to grab him a beer out of the fridge.
“You’ll have to kiss me for it,” Jensen had said, grinning, and knocking Jared’s shoulder with his own.
Jared had responded in the only possible way. He pursed his lips, made that silly face he always made and said “C’mere big boy,” in his best imitation of what he imagined Mae West sounded like.
And Jensen had responded in the only possible way. He had laughed, grabbed the beer, shook it a bit, went “oooooooooooh” in a mock swoon. Just joking. But then Jensen made a slow, suggestive pass of his slightly clenched fist around the neck of the bottle, once, twice, three fucking times, and then popped the top off with his ring. The beer spurted all over Jared in imitation of - well, Jared knew exactly what it was in imitation of and he did the only possible thing he could do. He laughed uproariously.
And then he took his shirt off. Only because Jensen had gotten it covered with beer. And then Jensen stopped laughing and Jared knew, just knew, that something had changed, moved, flipped. He wasn’t about to think about it though, so he looked around, muttered something about Jensen being a jerk, left the kitchen, and went into Jensen’s bedroom to grab himself a tee shirt. Jensen told him he’d grab him another beer, and that was that.
Except it wasn’t, because Jared just couldn’t stop thinking about the way he’d felt in that split second between taking his shirt off and seeing the look in Jensen’s green eyes shift to something that Jared could only assume was discomfort. Because in that half naked split second Jared had wanted to lean in, not with his shoulder, but with his lips and he wanted Jen to put his hand -
Well, it really didn’t matter where Jared wanted Jensen’s hand, because it wasn’t going to happen and it was all just a joke.
*******************
It was all Jared’s fault. True, he was the one who first brought up, as a joke of course, kissing Jared for the benefit of press and fangirls alike. But it was Jared who had started long before that with the hands. The hands all over him, all the time. The hands on his shoulders, massaging the tension away, the hands, and arms, wrapped around him, pulling him into his protective embrace, the hands ruffling his hair. It may have been Jensen’s words, but it was Jared’s hands.
At least that’s what Jensen told himself.
But saying those words was like opening some sort of fucking Pandora’s box. He had been forced to watch those words take on a life of their own. Of course Jared had picked the joke up and run with it. Of course he puckered up for Jensen at the drop of a hat. And of course it was all just a joke.
Just a joke.
Except, having let the joke out, Jensen was beginning to regret it a bit, because it wasn’t seeming as funny lately. Sure he still laughed. How could he not laugh at the faces Jared pulled, the public come-ons? But he also wondered. How could he not? What if? Most of the time he stopped himself wondering before he had a chance to finish that thought. Because it wasn’t going to happen. Not on this planet. Planet Straight. And even if they both lived on Planet Let’s Experiment it would not be a good idea because how do you ever get back to Planet Straight once you’ve been to that other planet? You don’t. Do you?
Jensen was wondering if he hadn’t already left. He began wondering that the day he offered that beer up to Jared and had, just had to make that suggestive, teasing move with the bottle. Wanker. That’s what he was miming, but that’s what he was as well. Stupid wanker for doing that and for thinking what he was thinking when Jared took his shirt off, and for what he continued to think after Jared put on one of his, too small, too tight on him shirts to replace the one Jensen had gotten all wet. He tried to convince himself that he was checking Jared out because he admired Jared’s dedication to the gym and not because he was admiring Jared himself. But it was weak. Pathetically weak.
And that’s when the second guessing started. Had he been joking that first time he suggested they kiss? If the answer to that was yes, was he still joking now? What the hell would it be like to kiss a guy anyway? And couldn’t he just be curious without it meaning anything? And what did those muscles *feel* like anyway?
Yeah, it was all Jared’s fault.
***********************
It was all Jensen’s fault. Because if he hadn’t started everything with that suggestion of his, then Jared would never have started doing that pursy lipped thing he did (and he was doing it all the fucking time now - it was almost second nature, and again all Jensen’s fault), and Jensen would have never just hauled off and kissed him on set that day in full view of the entire crew who apparently thought it was the funniest thing they had ever seen.
Someone told him later it was something about the way he looked after Jensen did it. Shock maybe?
Yeah, shock. The kind of shock that you get from slipping your hand into an electrical outlet and finding out you fucking love the feeling of slipping your hand into an electrical outlet, no matter how stupid and dangerous it is to do that.
Funny thing was, Jensen wasn’t laughing either. It was his joke from the start, and he wasn’t laughing. Some joke.
*********************
What happened next was all Jared’s fault. Oh sure, he was the one who had kissed Jared in front of everyone - just a joke - and it was him standing there in Jared’s trailer, trying to explain. But it was still Jared’s fault.
“What the hell was that all about?” Jared said, when Jensen marched into his trailer after “the kiss”.
“Moving on.” Jensen said matter of factly.
“What?”
“Well, you know how we’re always joking about kissing - “
“Yeah,” Jared said, perhaps too quickly.
“I just thought if I did it . . . “ Jensen lowered his voice. “‘Cause I’ve been thinking about it and it sort of freaks me out.”
“Yeah. Me too. Both.” Jensen looked at him, not understanding. “Thinking. And freaking.”
Jensen nodded. “So I thought if I just did it, you know, we wouldn’t have to think about it anymore.”
“And?” Jared asked.
“And??” Jensen shot back.
“And???” Jared did not want to be the one to answer first.
“Didn’t work,” they wound up saying in unison.
“So, I was thinking, since we were wondering - you know.”
“Yeah, I know.”
“Maybe if we got that out of the way too - “
“Yeah!” Was that too enthusiastic? “ I mean, good idea.”
“Ok, so here goes.”
“Here goes.”
Except neither of them were going anywhere. They stood, rooted to the spots they stood in, staring at each other.
“Right. Closer?” Jensen finally suggested.
“Closer.” Jared agreed and each took a step forward which was really all they needed to be within kissing distance.
“This is weird man,” Jensen said.
“Tell me about it.”
“But look, if it’s this weird, then it will be even weirder when we do it, and then we’ll both probably just go ‘nah’ and that will be that.”
“You think?”
“Yeah, it’s like the build up to anything. It’s almost always better than the payoff.”
“Is that how you look at the world?” Jared asked.
“Sort of.”
Jared thought about that for a second or two. Didn’t seem right really. And, in a way, it presented something of a challenge to him. “Hummph.”
“What?”
“Nothing. Let’s just, you know, do this.”
“OK.”
“OK.”
And they both plunged forward. The first second or two was just like doing it in front of everyone else a few minutes before. Kinda strange, but also not unlike your standard stage kiss. They just happened to be kissing guys instead of girls, but the whole public thing made it not such a big deal really. The next few seconds were something different though. They both relaxed a bit, leaned in a bit, slowed down a bit. Yeah, that was way more like a real kiss. The kind of kiss you’d give someone you really liked and didn’t just work with or hang out with. And those last few seconds. Well that was an entirely different kind of kiss.
They both backed off at the same time.
“So.”
“We did it.”
“Yes we did.”
They were back to staring at each other. A little out of breath, but basically just staring.
“So.”
“Yeah . . . so.”
“We moving on now?”
“I think so.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah.”
Jensen would always maintain that it was all Jared’s fault. It was his fault for looking the way he looked and making that damn moaning noise in the back of his throat right before they broke apart.
Oh, they were moving on all right. To shirts, and belts and zippers, to nipples and cocks and “touch me pleases” and “fuck yeses” and it was all Jared’s fault. Or maybe it was his fault.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2007-07-24 08:46 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-07-31 02:05 pm (UTC)Can I hug you for that?? Man, you just made me amazingly happy by saying that! Thank you!!
Cheers,
Kat
no subject
Date: 2007-08-01 06:56 am (UTC)