Ash Wednesday - Chapter 5
May. 13th, 2007 06:38 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
runedgirlTitle:Ash Wednesday - Part 5
Pairings/Characters:Sam/Dean
Rating:NC-17 - eventually
Summary: Summary:I began this on Ash Wednesday, wondering what Dean would give up for Lent. Sam has visions. Dean finds out what that necklace is really for. Oh, and the boys have sex!
Notes/Warnings:The w-word, angst, angst about the w-word.
Disclaimer:Alas, they're mine only in my head.
Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Dean was fumbling with the car keys out in the dusty patch of gravel that passed for the roadhouse’s parking lot by the time Sam caught up with him. Why did Dean think was going to be a nice clean break? He’d burned every possible bridge back there in that room. The only thing left was to put a substantial amount of distance between him and Sam. But here came Sam to mess up his exit. If he was lucky, maybe Sam was just following him so he could hit him. Hard. Yeah, Dean would have liked that. He deserved it.
Sam had stopped only to drag on his pants before rushing out to follow his brother. Dean looked over his shoulder to see him doing a strange hip hop across the gravel toward him and the car, wincing as his bare feet hit the sharp bits of stone and lord knows what else strewn all over. “Dean, we need to - “
Dean had just gotten the car door open and showed no signs of needing anything. “If you say we need to talk, Sam, I swear, I’ll - “
Dean didn’t get a chance to say what he would do to Sam. Dean didn’t get a chance to say anything. Sam spun him around and threw him up against the side of the car so fast that it almost knocked the breath out of him. Instinctively, Dean pulled back his hand to defend himself, even if had no intention of fighting back, and wound up leaving himself wide open to Sam’s attack. Never saw it coming. Maybe because he was looking for a fist in his face. Instead he got Sam’s tongue down his throat.
It figured. Now that he was getting what he wanted, had wanted for as long as he could remember, Dean’s first and only reaction was to push Sam off of him. Really push. Hard enough for Sam take a few steps back, lose his balance, and start to fall. Dean reached out to steady him.
“What the fuck, Sam!”
“No, no, no, no. You can’t do this. You just did - what you did - and then you won’t let me - “
“Sam, what I did was messed up. I should have left you alone.”
Sam laughed a tired laugh. “I’m sick of being alone Dean.”
“That’s not what I meant.”
“It’s what I mean.” Sam, steady on his bare feet again, moved closer to Dean. “Why did you do that and then leave? Did you think I’d be horrified by what you did back there?”
Sam was only inches in front of him. Dean had to turn his head and look off to the side just to get him out of his field of vision. He gnawed on his lower lip for a moment before working up the courage to respond. “Yes.” Good thing it was a short word, because a longer one could not have found a way out of his throat.
“I can think of a lot of things a lot more horrifying than you kissing me Dean.” He moved closer yet, pressing his body against Dean’s. He took Dean’s chin in one hand and made him turn to face him. “Do I look horrified?” He let go of Dean’s chin and slid the same hand slowly down Dean’s arm until he had him by his hand. Dean watched as Sam pressed his hand against his hard on. “Do I feel horrified?”
“Scared stiff?” Dean said trying to joke while being torn apart. Was he finally going to get the only thing he’d ever really wanted or was he going sacrifice himself again? Did he leave his hand there, just where he wanted it to be, where it made him weak-kneed and dizzy or did he pull away and run?
The answer was obvious. Run.
Dean tried to slide by Sam and into the car but Sam was too quick. He had him pinned against the car again before he had moved six inches. “I want this Dean.”
Dean struggled to break free, but Sam was strong and only Dean’s head was in the fight. His heart - well that was elsewhere. “We can’t.”
Sam bent to kiss Dean’s jaw line, then lower down his neck. Dean let his head fall back as Sam traced a line with his tongue across his Adam’s apple. “I don’t wanna - “ Sam’s voice trailed off as he pulled back.
Dean’s head snapped up. “What?” Maybe Sam was realizing what a bad idea this was. Maybe this was his out.
Sam leaned forward and rested his forehead against Dean’s. “I don’t wanna talk anymore Dean. Touch me.”
Sam undid the button on his own jeans (they were all he was wearing) and guided his brother’s hand. Dean felt hair and warmth and Sam’s quivering cock and tried to pull his hand out but Sam wouldn’t let him, keeping the pressure insistently on Dean’s wrist.
Dean looked trapped and defenseless and so splayed wide open with emotion that Sam could barely stand it. With his free hand, Sam undid the button on Dean’s pants now and reached inside, fumbling before he found what he was looking for. Dean twisted under his fingers. At first Sam thought he was moving to meet him, but he quickly realized that Dean was still trying to pull free. He looked into his brother’s eyes. Tears stood there, about to brim over. “You want this. Why are you fighting it?”
“It’s wrong.”
Sam drew his hand along the length of Dean’s dick. This time Dean did arch his back to meet his touch. “Tell me this feels wrong, Dean. Tell me to stop.”
If Dean was going to tell him to stop, he never got the chance. Sam’s mouth covered his and the hand down his pants was working his dick sending shockwaves through his body, while Sam’s other hand, the one holding Dean’s wrist pressed more insistently, reminding Dean of what he was holding. He didn’t need to be reminded twice.
Years of waiting for this moment meant it wasn’t going to last long. Sam came first, shuddering so hard that Dean thought he was hurt for a moment. The feel of Sam quivering in his hand, and the feel of Sam’s thumb working the tip of his own cock was all that he needed. He couldn’t tell whether he should breathe in or out when he came and wound up doing neither. His lungs stopped. Sound stopped. Time froze. Everything boiled down to this one moment.
And then time kicked back in, sounds intruded and Dean inhaled a lungful of recrimination - all directed at himself. Sam was still holding his softening dick when he slid down to the ground. The tears that has been standing on the rims of his long lashes spilled over their boundaries and flooded out. His shoulders shook and painful sobs racked his body. Sam got down next to Dean, wrapped his long arms and legs around him in a protective cocoon and held him until his body stopped shaking and his sobbing stilled. When he knew Dean had exhausted himself, Sam helped him up and lead him back into the roadhouse, back to their room and back to their bed. He sat Dean down, took off his shoes and helped him out of shirt, pants underwear and then nudged him to lay down. He let his own pants drop to the ground and got into the bed next to his brother. Sam wrapped his arms around his brother, in part to make sure he stayed put but also to convince himself that it was real.
Having Dean there next to him was going to make what he feared, no, what he *knew* was coming a bit easier to handle.
Chapter Six
Pairings/Characters:Sam/Dean
Rating:NC-17 - eventually
Summary: Summary:I began this on Ash Wednesday, wondering what Dean would give up for Lent. Sam has visions. Dean finds out what that necklace is really for. Oh, and the boys have sex!
Notes/Warnings:The w-word, angst, angst about the w-word.
Disclaimer:Alas, they're mine only in my head.
Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Dean was fumbling with the car keys out in the dusty patch of gravel that passed for the roadhouse’s parking lot by the time Sam caught up with him. Why did Dean think was going to be a nice clean break? He’d burned every possible bridge back there in that room. The only thing left was to put a substantial amount of distance between him and Sam. But here came Sam to mess up his exit. If he was lucky, maybe Sam was just following him so he could hit him. Hard. Yeah, Dean would have liked that. He deserved it.
Sam had stopped only to drag on his pants before rushing out to follow his brother. Dean looked over his shoulder to see him doing a strange hip hop across the gravel toward him and the car, wincing as his bare feet hit the sharp bits of stone and lord knows what else strewn all over. “Dean, we need to - “
Dean had just gotten the car door open and showed no signs of needing anything. “If you say we need to talk, Sam, I swear, I’ll - “
Dean didn’t get a chance to say what he would do to Sam. Dean didn’t get a chance to say anything. Sam spun him around and threw him up against the side of the car so fast that it almost knocked the breath out of him. Instinctively, Dean pulled back his hand to defend himself, even if had no intention of fighting back, and wound up leaving himself wide open to Sam’s attack. Never saw it coming. Maybe because he was looking for a fist in his face. Instead he got Sam’s tongue down his throat.
It figured. Now that he was getting what he wanted, had wanted for as long as he could remember, Dean’s first and only reaction was to push Sam off of him. Really push. Hard enough for Sam take a few steps back, lose his balance, and start to fall. Dean reached out to steady him.
“What the fuck, Sam!”
“No, no, no, no. You can’t do this. You just did - what you did - and then you won’t let me - “
“Sam, what I did was messed up. I should have left you alone.”
Sam laughed a tired laugh. “I’m sick of being alone Dean.”
“That’s not what I meant.”
“It’s what I mean.” Sam, steady on his bare feet again, moved closer to Dean. “Why did you do that and then leave? Did you think I’d be horrified by what you did back there?”
Sam was only inches in front of him. Dean had to turn his head and look off to the side just to get him out of his field of vision. He gnawed on his lower lip for a moment before working up the courage to respond. “Yes.” Good thing it was a short word, because a longer one could not have found a way out of his throat.
“I can think of a lot of things a lot more horrifying than you kissing me Dean.” He moved closer yet, pressing his body against Dean’s. He took Dean’s chin in one hand and made him turn to face him. “Do I look horrified?” He let go of Dean’s chin and slid the same hand slowly down Dean’s arm until he had him by his hand. Dean watched as Sam pressed his hand against his hard on. “Do I feel horrified?”
“Scared stiff?” Dean said trying to joke while being torn apart. Was he finally going to get the only thing he’d ever really wanted or was he going sacrifice himself again? Did he leave his hand there, just where he wanted it to be, where it made him weak-kneed and dizzy or did he pull away and run?
The answer was obvious. Run.
Dean tried to slide by Sam and into the car but Sam was too quick. He had him pinned against the car again before he had moved six inches. “I want this Dean.”
Dean struggled to break free, but Sam was strong and only Dean’s head was in the fight. His heart - well that was elsewhere. “We can’t.”
Sam bent to kiss Dean’s jaw line, then lower down his neck. Dean let his head fall back as Sam traced a line with his tongue across his Adam’s apple. “I don’t wanna - “ Sam’s voice trailed off as he pulled back.
Dean’s head snapped up. “What?” Maybe Sam was realizing what a bad idea this was. Maybe this was his out.
Sam leaned forward and rested his forehead against Dean’s. “I don’t wanna talk anymore Dean. Touch me.”
Sam undid the button on his own jeans (they were all he was wearing) and guided his brother’s hand. Dean felt hair and warmth and Sam’s quivering cock and tried to pull his hand out but Sam wouldn’t let him, keeping the pressure insistently on Dean’s wrist.
Dean looked trapped and defenseless and so splayed wide open with emotion that Sam could barely stand it. With his free hand, Sam undid the button on Dean’s pants now and reached inside, fumbling before he found what he was looking for. Dean twisted under his fingers. At first Sam thought he was moving to meet him, but he quickly realized that Dean was still trying to pull free. He looked into his brother’s eyes. Tears stood there, about to brim over. “You want this. Why are you fighting it?”
“It’s wrong.”
Sam drew his hand along the length of Dean’s dick. This time Dean did arch his back to meet his touch. “Tell me this feels wrong, Dean. Tell me to stop.”
If Dean was going to tell him to stop, he never got the chance. Sam’s mouth covered his and the hand down his pants was working his dick sending shockwaves through his body, while Sam’s other hand, the one holding Dean’s wrist pressed more insistently, reminding Dean of what he was holding. He didn’t need to be reminded twice.
Years of waiting for this moment meant it wasn’t going to last long. Sam came first, shuddering so hard that Dean thought he was hurt for a moment. The feel of Sam quivering in his hand, and the feel of Sam’s thumb working the tip of his own cock was all that he needed. He couldn’t tell whether he should breathe in or out when he came and wound up doing neither. His lungs stopped. Sound stopped. Time froze. Everything boiled down to this one moment.
And then time kicked back in, sounds intruded and Dean inhaled a lungful of recrimination - all directed at himself. Sam was still holding his softening dick when he slid down to the ground. The tears that has been standing on the rims of his long lashes spilled over their boundaries and flooded out. His shoulders shook and painful sobs racked his body. Sam got down next to Dean, wrapped his long arms and legs around him in a protective cocoon and held him until his body stopped shaking and his sobbing stilled. When he knew Dean had exhausted himself, Sam helped him up and lead him back into the roadhouse, back to their room and back to their bed. He sat Dean down, took off his shoes and helped him out of shirt, pants underwear and then nudged him to lay down. He let his own pants drop to the ground and got into the bed next to his brother. Sam wrapped his arms around his brother, in part to make sure he stayed put but also to convince himself that it was real.
Having Dean there next to him was going to make what he feared, no, what he *knew* was coming a bit easier to handle.
Chapter Six
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
Beautiful
Date: 2007-05-13 10:54 pm (UTC)Re: Beautiful
Date: 2007-05-13 11:43 pm (UTC)My rambling way of saying thanks, btw:))
Kat
no subject
Date: 2007-05-13 11:11 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-05-13 11:45 pm (UTC)Cheers,
Kat
no subject
Date: 2007-05-14 12:32 am (UTC)Please?
no subject
Date: 2007-05-14 01:34 am (UTC)More is written. More is on the way shortly. Thanks for making your way through all five parts today!!
Cheers,
Kat
no subject
Date: 2007-05-14 01:52 am (UTC)Less replying, more fic writing! Chop-chop!
no subject
Date: 2007-05-14 09:07 pm (UTC)Cheers,
Kat
no subject
Date: 2007-05-14 08:06 pm (UTC)Loved it^^
no subject
Date: 2007-05-14 09:05 pm (UTC)Kat
no subject
Date: 2007-05-15 01:55 pm (UTC)this is so awesome.... glad Sam pushed him... hot impala!sex too :)
....please dont hurt anymore Deam, its going to be ok. Sammy loves you...
more more more more more!!!!! cant wait :)
no subject
Date: 2007-05-15 06:38 pm (UTC)Kat
no subject
Date: 2007-08-18 01:36 pm (UTC)And then time kicked back in, sounds intruded and Dean inhaled a lungful of recrimination - all directed at himself. Sam was still holding his softening dick when he slid down to the ground. The tears that has been standing on the rims of his long lashes spilled over their boundaries and flooded out. His shoulders shook and painful sobs racked his body. Sam got down next to Dean, wrapped his long arms and legs around him in a protective cocoon and held him until his body stopped shaking and his sobbing stilled. When he knew Dean had exhausted himself, Sam helped him up and lead him back into the roadhouse, back to their room and back to their bed. He sat Dean down, took off his shoes and helped him out of shirt, pants underwear and then nudged him to lay down. He let his own pants drop to the ground and got into the bed next to his brother. Sam wrapped his arms around his brother, in part to make sure he stayed put but also to convince himself that it was real.
So painful to read and then this:
Having Dean there next to him was going to make what he feared, no, what he *knew* was coming a bit easier to handle.
Dammit I knew that vision was going to come back to bit them on the ass! Is scared now!